Pjo Zeus - Blog Posts

So I was talking to a friend and we were talking about the Greek gods (percy jackson versions) and how hades Zeus and poseidon decided on realms and now I have an image of them useing hades helm to draw cards out of and hades sulking in the background

Another set of memes using Perchance’s incorrect quotes generator

This time featuring the Greek gods

Sammmmme

I think a horrifying possibility of lester dying in ton is that zeus would've breathed a sigh of relief.

Just remember, Zeus grounded his adult son for getting with a girl he didn't want him with

The gods not understanding how demigod kids work😂 I’m just waiting for the moment one of their kids gets a paper cut or something and they’re just like, “PAPER! THEY SOMEHOW GET HURT BY PAPER!”

Okay, but the duality of human beings is SO wild that I’m positive this information would absolutely break them.

There are humans that can survive great heights? But only sometimes? And other times they die? It is really just up to chance and how you land?

Humans can fall down a flight of stairs and say they’re completely fine, but PAPER hurts them and they whine about it all day?

Gunshot wounds? Yeah, we can recover from that (well, depending on where you’re hit, maybe). As long as invisible bacteria doesn’t get into the wound without us noticing... then we might die even if the blood is gone and wound sewn up.

Zeus is like “There are people out there who survive my lightning strikes?” and then learns the same person died like.... three hours later from choking on a hotdog.

Hermes, with a magazine: Athena! Look at this. It says here that 1 in every 15,000 humans die from exercising too much.

Athena: But... they need exercise? All my research says they need exercise!

Annabeth: You did hear the one in FIFTEEN THOUSAND part, right?

Hades: HOW ARE THEY DYING FROM DOING THE THING THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO DO! DAMNIT!

Then you have Demeter running in like:

Demeter: KILL THE MOSQUITOES! KILL THE MOSQUITOES!!!

Ares: Why?

Demeter: Look at this! I ran the numbers while in the Underworld while visiting Persephone. One million people die a YEAR from mosquitoes. We have to kill them.

Ares: There’s no way these punks are dying from these tiny bugs.

Demeter: Apparently, they carry diseases.

Ares, softly: ...holy shit. Biological warfare.

Apollo, flipping a table: IS NOTHING ON THIS GODDAMN PLANET SAFE ANYMORE?!

Chiron, still trying to explain everything: Nothing on this planet was ever safe at any point... ever.

Athena: Pandora’s box?

Chiron: You guys pin wayyyyy too much on that poor girl.

Later on, you have Nico walking up in bubble wrap like ‘okay, which one of y’all told the gods that it hurts when we stub our toes?’ and you got Piper in helmet and knee pads all bitter like ‘It wasn’t me’ and Will is just looking so guilty before quietly going ‘I just wanted to explain how nerves worked’

They try to explain it all to the gods and it just... gets so much worse.

Zeus: So... the medicine... that heals you.... can also kill you...?

Will: I mean, if you overdose, yeah. It’s the same with ambrosia-

Hermes: AMBROSIA CAN KILL YOU!?

Percy: HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THIS?!

Hephaestus: That’s it. All of you are too fragile. We’re going to have to make a safer planet. This is ridiculous. Maybe we can just put them all on Venus or something-

Leo: We need oxygen to survive, Dad.

Ares: You’re kidding me, right?

Annabeth: Um, no, but... well... we can’t actually have too much oxygen or we’ll-

Poseidon: LET ME GUESS! You die?! For the love of Rhea! How has anyone survived anything?

Nico: Well... we all end up dead at some point, so arguably... we don’t survive?

And finally:

Jason: you guys created humans. Why don't you know this?

Zeus: No. Prometheus created humans and quite frankly he did a TERRIBLE job-

I like that there is just… A noticeable gap in the gods’ understanding of mortal children. Like, Zeus really accused a TWELVE-YEAR-OLD of stealing his master bolt and the only justification I have for him is “Well, Hermes stole Apollo’s cattle right after birth so that tracks”

But now I have a theory that the gods don’t really understand how mortal children work and that’s why they’re so blasé about sending them to do ridiculous nonsense?

Like…

Zeus: what do you mean ‘first word’? Why would they only speak one word?

Artemis: humans can only cry when they’re born

Zeus: nonsense. When you were born you didn’t cry. You delivered your brother and then came to me to ask for a birthday present.

Artemis: humans aren’t the same though. They can’t walk or talk for many months. When they do speak it is only in small, short words.

Zeus: ….that’s not true

Artemis: I’m afraid it is

Zeus, under his breath: what the fuck

Later on…

Keep reading

Here’s a headcanon I have for Apollo

When the Olympian’s have to have a meeting they all have to talk one after the other and cannot interrupt each other. Zeus has made it a rule.

The reason?

Whenever someone lies Apollo, who is always shining light, stops shining for a little bit.

Zeus ended up finding this out and began using Apollo as a lie detector.

So now the gods make sure to be careful and not get too personal. The best way to keep your secrets is to keep them to yourself.

Artemis learned this from Apollo and told every god because Apollo just wants to go back to riding his chariot while he writes songs and poems.

Everyone try’s to stay out of trouble with Zeus because they don’t want to deal with his anger and Apollo has a book that he puts a tally in for every time he has to be called in to play lie detector and when Summer comes it the amount of tally’s a god gets is the amount of hot days they will get in their region and if it’s more days then should be warm then they get doubled up on to other summer days and make them hotter.

They have been doing good for a while at the beginning but over the years it has gotten so bad that summers are now almost always extremely hot.

It’s climate change and Apollo being called into interrogations to play lie detector.