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Sarcasm - Blog Posts
Rant about Indian liquorice because I love poison.
Indian liquorice is also known as Abrus precatorius and is a plant from the Fabaceae family, making it's most famous relative beeeaaannnzzz. It used to only exist in India but every tropical country has loads of this shit now.
The seeds, roots, bark and leaves contain a very Funny Substance™ that's one of the strongest poisons in the world.
Now let's say that hypothetically this liquorice got into the food of a person you coincidentally don't like. If the seeds are whole, nothing will happen, so you need to cut them up WHO SAID THAT. They also lose their toxic traits when you cook them, just like my ex.
After a few hours/up to two days your friend will get severe gastroenteritis, you know, vomiting, diarrhea, period cramps. Side effects often include a series of severe symptoms that transform the eyes into a shadow of their old selves. Oh and hair loss. I mean men are balding at 26 nowadays so it's not like people are gonna notice.
The most important aspect of the Funny Substance™ is the fact that it makes blood clot, and we all know what that does.
Two whole seeds are enough to cause severe poisoning in American adults.
While these little guys only grow in tropical regions, they're sometimes made into necklaces and sold, or placed in rosaries and dry arrangements.
Just saying.
what me? Draw male characters as woman because I can’t draw men? I would never….
"i cleaned your room up for you!!" Ok pookie did you find the corpse or
me when I wake up at six am for my five hour shift and my boss begs me to stay for nine hours instead
This is very important, always make sure to properly stimulate your bfs
Having a boyfriend is literally free
Who else wants to complain about how hard it is to fix your sleep schedule.
Not an expert, is this what powerscaling looks like
"The quickest way to brighten up a room is to smile."
No, the quickest way to brighten up a room is to turn the lights on.
I’ve been exercising to help my fatigue, unfortunately I keep pushing myself too hard and worsening my joint pain…. which then makes my fatigue worse.
BUT it’s okay because if I need more energy, I can just exercise! Again! And if I injure myself again and my fatigue gets even worse, it’s okay, because if I need help with my fatigue, I can just EXERCISE!!! And then if my joints get worse because of that and I get more fatigue, it’s okay, because I can just EXERCISE MORE, AND—
Phoebus Apollo, slayer of Python, protector of Delphi, and patron of the Oracle?
no I don’t associate Him with fortune telling at all why would you even suggest that
Apollo Proupsius
(the foreseeing)
Pls don't tell me I am the only one who asociates Apollo with fortune telling
Oh not to mention I made a new friend(who I have a crush on but we're not getting into that dm if you want to know)if being told and "warned about me"that I'm a violent abusive person
Isn't my life just great😍😍😍
Okay so apparently I'm a mean abusive horrible person now 😍😍😍
Don't you just love when people attack you cause your stop being friends with them
And don't you love when the person attacking you wasn't even involved like me and her were good but I stopped being friends with you friends(one wrote a note to me that was just mean things about me and the other had been a bad friend since the 1 grade)
Don't you just love that for me😍😍😍😍🤩🤩
Okay so apparently I'm a mean abusive horrible person now 😍😍😍
Don't you just love when people attack you cause your stop being friends with them
And don't you love when the person attacking you wasn't even involved like me and her were good but I stopped being friends with you friends(one wrote a note to me that was just mean things about me and the other had been a bad friend since the 1 grade)
Don't you just love that for me😍😍😍😍🤩🤩
this is the funniest thing I’ve seen in any review ever
I was reading Brightest Night and I noticed how Sunny describes Smolder’s voice as sarcastic-sounding, even if he’s not necessarily being sarcastic. Idk I thought it was funny 😅
arthurian dashboard simulation
🦌 jovesganymede
lancelot kind of homophobic for killing that giant just for keeping knights in a dungeon to whip. or jealous
🧅 villeinous
morgan le fay needs to stop trying to fuck her way about the table round and come to my hamlet. out of the way chastityboy i’m about to get it
🧅 villeinous
jesu i have been trapped for a year to be drained with diabolic sex
🐗 hungryserf
op where is this happening. the diabolic sex
✍🏻 tonsurance
we need to get gawain off the streets every time i check in he’s killed twenty more knights when does it end
🔮 preeminentwycche
i heard he was unicorning for older het couples
🫂 merlinbignaturals
serial killer AND bad bi rep
🖼 theilluminatedmaid
reopening commissions !! <3 the farm has been razed to the ground again and even one would help so much
🖼 theilluminatedmaid
i just got a guinevere x lancelot commission from MORGAN LE FAY ?? 😭😭
🫘 t4tgwencelot
she’s actually so real
🦌 jovesganymede
need her
🐻 strongandtrue
if i saw merlin i’d kill him with a hammer
✝️ spiritussanctus
actually some of the most disgusting shit i’ve ever seen on this hellsite all you freaks unfollow me rn if you find this shit funny. those are real knights with real families. i bet op is a fucking gw/ncelot too
🪰 wretchedesthive
lancelot isn’t going to fuck you
⚔️ roundtablewatch
sir kay spotted in camelot
🐗 hungryserf
girl who cares
🫦 nakedasaneedle
likely place for him to be
I love speaking my mind and some bitch comes and reblogs like "Uhm! No, Achtually🤓☝️" like shut up
THE IDIOT; ELIF BATUMAN
I recently started reading "The Idiot" by ELIF BATUMAN. And so far, it's been brilliant. The protagonist- full or intelligence and dry remarks, is absolutely a compelling presence in the back of your head as you move forward within the book!
Early in the 19th century, Sydney Smith, one of the founders of the Edinburgh Review, remarked that if we had made the same progress in the culinary arts as we have made in education, we should still be eating soup with our hands.
Joseph Epstein
I don't hate you. I slightly dislike you...enough to want to lock you in my basement and torture you for eternity.
Quick Guide for Arts Students
Since students have to make a lot of important career and study related decisions in a few short years, I decided to make this overly sarcastic guide for Arts students. Hopefully this helps. Step One: First you must score less than 60% in your tenth exams, because in India, it is unacceptable to be a smart Arts student. It is always assumed that you are an Arts student because you couldn't get into Commerce or Science. Step Two: You must spend your entire time in the college canteen, even if it serves only substandard vada pav and soggy idlis. Arts students are supposed to be drop outs and/or "weird theatre types." Step Three: The syllabus will require you to memorise the birth dates of obscure scientists, because logic. This will kill all your creative genes. For the sake of extremely necessary degree, deal with it. Satisfy creativity by table graffiti. Step Four: You are an Arts student. Sanskaar dictates that you are not on the same level as Science and Commerce students (apparently), therefore 99% in exams is out of question. But you must still get 99% in your 12th exams. Of course, questions in Arts papers are very subjective and as a result it's almost impossible to get 99% in them, but meh. Technicalities. Step Five: Everyone, from ancient relatives to the woman cutting your hair, is going to ask you about your results in the 10th standard. Lie and say you got 50% so that you don't have to hear the standard argument of "Arrey?! Aapko 92% mila toh aapne Science kyu nahi liya???" (What?! Why didn't you take Science if you got 92%???) It's actually easier to bear the judgemental looks rather than try to explain that you might actually be interested in Arts and Humanities. Step Six: Become a teacher.