Batfam Crack - Blog Posts

JL: we need more people to help fight the invasion

Bruce: say no more

Nightwing, sitting on a chair in the corner: *gasps* We'Re gEtinG ThE GaNg bAck ToGeThEr?!

Bruce: *knows what's about to happen*

*zeta tube starts*

Batfam + The cool aunts (harley and ivy): Hola, bitches

Jason, kissing Roy: Hey sweetheart.

Roy, kissing back: What’s up, babe.

Oliver: Did we miss something?

Dick: Oh, no no, they’re just playing a game, no biggie.

Bruce: What game?

Tim: It’s called gay chicken. The point of the game is for two guys to pretend to be gay together for as long as possible.

Damian: and whoever chickens out first loses.

Clark: And how long has it been since they are, uh… pretending?

Dick: Three weeks.

Bruce:

Oliver:

Roy (Arsenal), leaning over: They’re pretty stubborn.

*** Later***

Jason: no but seriously, did you see their faces?

Roy: I knOw. Ollie looked like he wanted to cry *laughs*

Jason, looking at Roy: now we just have to tell them that we are dating, not playing gay chicken.

Roy: *sigh* Ollie's going to have a stroke.

Damian: It’s dark in here Jon: Don’t worry dude I got this Jon: *Stomps their feet* Jon: *Skechers light up*

Damian: Time for plan G. Bruce: Don’t you mean plan B? Damian: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. Dick: What about plan D? Damian: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Steph: What about plan E? Damian: I’m hoping not to use it. Timothy dies in plan E. Jason: I like plan E.

Damian: Croissants: dropped Jason: Road: works ahead Dick: BBQ sauce: on my titties Tim: Shavacado: fre Steph: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead Jason: Bruce, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

he definitely got the obsessive adopting gene

Damian: *surrounded by ducks*

Damian: follow me, my children

Steph: you know that can kill you right?

Jason, smoking a cigarette: that's the point

Tim drinking his "life juice": we're trying to speed this up

Dick eating raw cookie dough: Yeah!

Damian: GRAYSON! TODD! The girls wanted me to inform the both of you that they have challenged you to a water fight.

Dick: oooooooh we haven't done that in a while.

Damian: yes they will perish beneath us. We will drive them to the ground! WE WILL-

Dick: ok-ay. Jay, you coming?

Jason: gimmie a sec. The water js almost finished boiling.

Damian:

Dick:

Duke, who listened to it all from a concealed area of the room: THE FUCKING WHAT?!

no capes! batfam, but they still stop crime just by accident

bruce wayne, drunk as hell, wanting to go home from a gala: hey dick, you can drive right? 14 year old dick whose experience from driving is a plastic kids' car: yeah sure i can

Don't we all love some chaotic siblings shenanigans at the gala?

Ah! The annual Wayne gala...

Every year, Bruce Wayne attempts to throw a normal gala.

You, know. The kind every other billionaire throws.

But somehow

Somehow

Something weird happens.

Whether Damian lets Batcow into the ballroom, or Steph sets off the sprinkler system, or (God forbid) Jason mixes laxatives into the cake; something always goes wrong.

And. It. Is. Always. His. Kids'. Fault.

It's become a running joke in the media!

"The Wayne Kids at it again!!! Read their latest gala antics below!"

Bruce just wants to jump into that bottomless pit in the Batcave...

Why WHY are his... lovely children like this? Can't they just give him some peace.

Of course not, Dick is sitting on the chandelier and everyone is staring.

Dick waves at him.

He can only stare blankly until Tim comes over and hands him a cup of coffee, Tim holding one himself.

Not really a typical gala drink, but he deserves it. Takes a big drink and almost spits it out. He give Tim and incredulous look.

The coffee is spiked.

He can't tell if it has monster, whisky, or a fucking 5 hour energy in it though.

Tim just shrugs and takes the cup back.

"More for me"

Cass walks over and gives him a pity pat on the shoulder.

God help him.

He loves these kids.

But God help him...

Based on og bost by @thethirdtriplet

Order left to right pic 1 lolz

Damian, cass, dick, duke, Tim, Steph :)