I literally LOVE this take with all my angst loving heart. It makes sense too - the parent who doesn't fucking HIT you is always the best parent, even if they do shit that's actually just as bad, because kids don't understand how damaging it is to not receive love from a parent - they just know that that parent (AKA Alastor's mom) isn't hurting them, so obviously they're amazing, right?
I imagine that whatever scenario happens where his mom gets to see him for a bit, the others all meet her, and they're expecting this loving saint of a mother based on the way Alastor talks about her but instead they see this woman who always looks guilty when she looks at Alastor. There's none of the warmth a typical caring mother has when she looks at him. They can all see it, but for some reason, Alastor just doesn't. None of them can tell if he knows and is just ignoring it, or if he genuinely thinks this is what a mother's love is - this solemn distance and one-sided enthusiasm.
He knows though. He just tries not to think about it, and tries to love her enough for both of them.
To make things even worse, I imagine that whenever she was talking to Lucifer, Alastor overheard everything. He knew his mother didn't love him, but it still hurts to hear it from her own mouth. Then for Lucifer to say that no one else loved him either? Again, it was something he knew - he didn't really think anyone else cared for him, but hearing out loud stings.. After hearing them talk, he just goes to the kitchen with a big (painful) smile on his face and begins making one of his mom's favorite recipes. If she has food she loves, maybe it will make being around Alastor a little easier for her
I often think about a What If scenario in which Alastor's mother was actually just. Not a good mom. I don't mean in a "she's evil" sense or anything, I just mean it in a "she didn't want children" sense. Or at least, not children with Alastor's father.
I like to think about Alastor's mother doing her best, but her best isn't good enough because 1, this wasn't the life she wanted, and 2, her child's face reminds her of a man she hates. As a consequence, she doesn't actually love Alastor, and feels guilty about it.
Meanwhile, Alastor grows to understand his mother doesn't love him, but he still loves her because she stuck around anyways. Sure, she can't look him in the eyes, but she's still around, still feeding him, sewing patches into his clothes, teaching him life lessons. And most of all, she doesn't physically harm him, which isn't something he can say about his father.
Of course, the lack of love from both of his parents still does a lot of psychological harm that he's just not aware of.
Hi! so I might do some fanart for your fic "hidden hurts" (it has literally become one of my favourites on Ao3 loll)
the thing is that I was wondering what you had in mind for the general area around the big cypress tree?
First off, I might actually cry, I love you so much right now, we should get married THANK YOU SO MUCH
Secondly, I was thinking that the majority of the bayou has water/mud everywhere (yk....like a bayou) BUT, that there are certain areas that have a little higher elevation meaning that they're completely dry. These areas would be filled with super tall grass (3+ feet) that is either dry and yellow or lush and green depending on the time of year on earth. Places like this exist in actual bayous and swamps too, which I thought was perfect lol. The tree itself has HUGE roots, like, think the trees from the first Avatar movie and you're pretty close, and that's how Alastor's little hollow space is formed/protected. The tree has a natural hollow as well, but the roots make the space larger.
The dry patch is almost like an island, completely surrounded by water. And I just thought of this, but I like to think that Alastor would have a charm in place that once you get on the dry patch or exit the bayou, any mud/water on you is magically removed in order to avoid dirtying his bedding/floor.
Please let me know when you finish, I'd love to see it!!!
would you say all your fics are in the same AU?
honestly, not really. The therapy pig series and "Both Arms Cradle You Now" are in the same AU but besides that, they're all separate unless they're in a series together. Good question though
Will: Dumbest scar stories, go! Cassandra: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Alyss: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it. Gilan: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Horace: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. Halt: Halt: I have emotional scars.
Bonus:
Will:
Will, concerned: You good dad?
Halt, sobbing on the floor: I don’t know what I’m crying more about, the fact that I’m not ok, the fact that someone finally asked me, or that you just called me dad.
Halt:
Halt: I love you too son.
Halt to Ferris, all the time: You know, when I was your age *proceeds to describe what he did 7 minutes ago*
This is a (kind of??? QPRs make it confusing) platonic tickle fic, if it's not your cup of tea, just keep scrolling
Just some casual affectionate fluff featuring lee!Alastor and ler!Lucifer to sooth the souls of the people who read my last two fics which were pure unapologetic angst
aww, thanks for the tag!!
Last Song: "As Good A Reason" by Paris Paloma
Favorite Color: Probably Indigo or Psychedelic Purple
Currently Watching: Nothing at this moment, but I just finished 'Hilda' a couple days ago (100% recommend, it's on Netflix)
Last Movie: 'FX's A Christmas Carol' easily my favorite version of the story
Sweet, Spicy, Salty, or Savory: Spicy 85% of the time, the rest is decided by a roulette wheel hidden in my brain
Relationship Status: Happily single and not looking for a relationship
Current Obsession: writing angst for 'Hazbin Hotel' lmao (I have 9 WIP tabs open lol)
Last Thing You Googled: 'sweet blue dish with tapioca' I remembered some dessert I had when I was really little and was trying to find out what it was lol. As of right now, I think it was Nam Wan, but I don't know for sure
some no pressure tags: @lonely-lost-insanity , @oberveroftheinfinite @guesswhocouldntsleep , @justaticklishdeer , @that-hazbin and anyone else who wants to participate lol (I'm NOT tagging 9 people)
NINE PEOPLE I WANT TO KNOW BETTER TAG
I wasn't tagged but thought this looked like fun.
Last Song: 'Lonely Dancers' by Conan Gray. Favorite Color: Butter yellow. Currently Watching: 'Breaking Bad' for the third time. Last Movie: 'Sonic 3.' Sweet, Spicy, Salty, Or Savory: Spicy. Relationship Status: Taken and happily engaged. Current Obsession: Baking bread. Last Thing You Googled: How do I stop my cat from pooping in the bathtub?
I'm tagging @emma5618, @amazingmsme, @veryblushyswitch, @otomiyaa, @legs-like-jelly, @a-fluffer-nutter, @hype-blue-fixation, @happyandticklish, and @void-occupation. No pressure to respond if you don't feel like it, though!
He learns that he doesn't have to pretend to be white anymore and he's promptly hit with emotions like a bag of bricks to the face.
On one hand, he's completely elated. He can actually be himself, have his curly hair and accent and mannerisms, etc, and NOT have to worry about being hatecrimed/having his reputation ruined. And on top of that, he can make fun of white people???? Let's Fucking Go
On the other hand, Ouch, Oh No, He Is Feeling Emotions. It's probably a lot to realize that you don't have to hide yourself anymore after doing it for over a fucking century. He's hit with the realization in front of the others and he just like,,,freezes. Kind of wide-eyed and someone asks if he's okay and he just kind of deflects like Yes, I Am Always Fine 100% Of The Time, Why Do You Ask
He's not though. He actually feels like he's on the verge of crying because of how utterly OVERWHELMING the influx of emotion is, but of course he doesn't say that. Never in a million years because - again - Ew, Emotions
Then he goes up to his room and DOES start crying because he was just hit with the realization that yes, his hair is curly, but he doesn't actually know how to take care of it. He can straighten it, but that's about it, which Hurts. Over 100 years of pretending to be a white man, and once he finally doesn't have to anymore, Alastor realizes that he doesn't actually know how to be his real self. And maybe he did once, or maybe he NEVER knew how. Either way, it Hurts and feels Bad and Awful
I like the idea that Alastor is so Not with the times that he doesn't realize that racism isn't as prevalent as it used to be. (Still around but definitely not like before.)
He's been straightening his hair and putting on a Specific Accent for the past century trying so hard to be white-passing, not having realized that not many people would bat an eye anymore towards his curls. Hell, some people would swoon if he Talked Southern to them.
I want him to be punched in the face with the realization that he doesn't really NEED to do that anymore. Like, maybe a hotel guest calls him a cracker and he's genuinely taken aback that you can make fun of white people for being white and NOT fear mass persecution. (And also low-key offended/disgusted to be mistaken for a caucasian man, despite deliberately trying to pass as white. He knows it doesn't make sense, shut up.)
Alastor: Vaggie.
Vaggie: Uh, what?
Alastor: One of our guests accused me of being a "lily white" man. Like it's an insult. Have I missed something or is pretending to be a white man not a valid survival technique anymore?
Vaggie: ... Why are you pretending to be a white man?
Alastor:
Alastor: The fact that you're asking me that tells me SO much.
On the flip side, the realization that he can make fun of white people now becomes Alastor's FAVORITE modern development. His next radio broadcast easily becomes his most popular showing on account of him roasting Vox's privileged white ass.
He's become Hip With The Kids.
(He's quietly thrilled by the new following he receives. This would have NEVER happened during his era.)
look, I know it's late, but I just finished watching this movie (again), and you CANNOT convince me that I'm the only one who's thought this. Tell me I'm wrong, if Halt were to ever be animated (with a better haircut) he would look EXACTLY like this:
Ballister, my beloved, this man is just Halt in another timeline. I mean come on. Any scene where he's hugging younger Will? Bam:
Halt and Crowley being gay? Boom, feast your eyes:
AND
And of course:
And obviously, you can't forget the ever allusive Halt Smile:
I swear, I'm so emo for this thought that now refuses to leave my head. I thought about this the first time I watched the movie, and I'm still thinking it. I refuse to picture Halt any other way now, and no one can stop me. If you're on the train, you better be fucking COMMITTED because we're going to the end of the tracks with this, baby
Oh, for sure - I got you
Alastor didn't actually know that his tentacles were ticklish. I mean sure, he knew he could feel through them - getting them stabbed and cut off whenever he fought more powerful demons made him quickly understand that. However, sensations felt through his tentacles are a lot different then they would feel in his body. Any sort of major injury to them definitely hurts him, but not as much as if the same thing were to happen to his arm or leg. It is because of this difference in sensation that he actually realized they were ticklish at all. Vox tends to throw electricity around during their battles, and while it stings like hell if it touches Alastor directly, the first time it touched Alastor's tentacles, he almost choked. It tickled violently in ways he couldn't even begin to describe, but he knew he had to get out of there before he lost his composure. This sudden freeze-and-retreat obviously made Vox think he'd won, so he started using this tactic during every single battle. He assumed that the electricity hurt more when it hit Alastor's shadowy extra limbs, but it was the exact opposite. By the end of every battle, Alastor would be fighting belly laughter harder than he was fighting Vox.
One battle, Alastor couldn't get away for some reason, and Vox is just going full-out trying to take advantage of his upper hand to send as much electricity at Alastor's tentacles as he can until his rival begs for mercy. And....he does. Just not in the way Vox was expecting. Alastor starts off with desperate little whines and squirming only to finally burst into wild cackles when the feeling gets too overwhelming. Vox is so stunned he can't even think to stop the electric shocks, so Alastor's laughter just gets more and more desperate until he's eventually begging for mercy. Vox is over the fucking moon. This wasn't what he was trying to do, but it has to be the best thing he's seen ever. Somehow Alastor manages to get away, but Vox NEVER lets him live it down, constantly teasing him about it, or sending electricity to attack Alastor's tentacles whenever they're out
Rosie knew about the voodoo dolls. She was the only person besides Alastor who knew. She kept one in case he got into a really bad lee mood and needed her help with it but was unable to got to her for whatever reason. Of course, him not having a phone led to a few close calls where she would start tickling the doll when he wasn't in a good setting for her to do so. Late afternoons reading in the lobby were ended in a flood of panic and muffled giggles because he'd suddenly feel invisible claws teasing his sides. His casual observation of bonding exercises would be interrupted by a sudden burst of laughter as phantom fingers suddenly drilled into his armpits - he had to hurriedly pretend he'd been laughing at the foolishness of the exercise rather than anything else, though he wasn't sure how successful he'd been with that one. One particularly memorable night where he'd been out hunting in his bayou ended with him muffling his desperate squeals into the grass and thrashing wildly as his bounty bounded gracefully away. It was his own fault, really. Not only had he refused to get a cellphone to communicate their "sessions" properly, but he'd given Rosie the doll in the first place to help with both his lee moods and her ler moods. This meant that he was fair game if she was feeling particularly devilish. Of course, she wouldn't do it if she knew he was doing anything important, and Alastor had to admit that he gained quite a bit of entertainment from the unexpectedness of it every time. Even if that meant spending a dinner at the hotel fighting giggles in his seat and choking back squeals and other embarrassing noises because she'd decided on a night of soft tickles and would explore every sensitive spot she knew of with merciless precision
Charlie had had the bright idea to hire spa workers for the day and have them visit the hotel as a reward for the residents. Massages, pedicures, manicures, you name it, they probably had it. Alastor already knew what would happen if he got a massage, so he spent the whole day eyeing the masseuses suspiciously and refusing to go anywhere near the tables (if everyone else assumed it was only because he didn't want to take off his suit, they were welcome to believe that was the biggest issue). However, because he'd been so set on avoiding getting a massage, he didn't stop and think of the possible consequences of getting a pedicure, allowing Charlie to convince him to do it with her, Vaggie, and Lucifer. He didn't realize what was about to happen until Charlie began giggling a little bit as the worker began filing the inside of her cloven hoof. Alastor had the sudden blinding realization that he was about to die get the exact same treatment, so he tried giving flustered excuses about why he couldn't do it anymore. Charlie begged him to stay, and Lucifer started teasing him - which Alastor obviously would not back down from, so he sat his ass right back down. When the worker lifted his hoof, all of his bravado vanished. He tried to fight it at first, but within the first few seconds, he was a mess. He was twisted all awkwardly in his chair, face bright red and buried in his hands, and shoulder's shaking with muffled laughter. Naturally, everyone caught on pretty quick, which only made everything infinitely worse when Charlie started cooing at him, Vaggie and Lucifer started teasing him, and even the worker started patronizing him telling him it was okay to just laugh. Somehow, things got even WORSE as it continued, because for some reason his left hoof was much more sensitive than his right, and the worker had started with his right. When they started filing at his left hoof, he shrieked before beginning to laugh loudly and squirm, trying his hardest not to yank his leg away or kick the poor worker in the face. Eventually, the pedicure ended, but Alastor was never going to live it down
bruh, I don't know why I did whole-ass mini fics, my original intention was to just share my headcanons about your headcanons. Can't take it back though, I'm just gonna put it out there and hope you all appreciate it lol
The lee!alastor tag has been painfully empty for the last few days, so I've decided to contribute a few headcanons of mine for you all to see and consider as you wish. Feel free to add on to this post with headcanons/rants/fics/whatever of your own if you want, I was just personally experiencing withdrawal symptoms and needed to fuel my addiction lol
(These are tickle headcanons for those unfamiliar with the terminology. If that isn't your thing, just scroll right on by)
First thing's first. Something I think everyone is sleeping on? Scalp massagers. Specifically the wire ones. I personally think those things are ticklish as fuck, and I'm far from the only one. The majority of us have come to the agreement that Alastor's ears are also ticklish as fuck. Just take a moment with me and imagine the potential:
Someone (probably Angel, or Lucifer) gets a scalp massager and is going around trying it on other hotel residents when they aren't paying attention. It's just for fun, and they're getting the typical reactions (jumping away, super startled, or just completely Unphased). Then, they manage to catch Alastor by surprise and do it to him, but instead of the typical reaction, Alastor startles before bursting out into staticky giggles. Alastor has no clue WHY it tickles so much, but it does, and he's practically paralyzed in a weird half-curled position as whoever has the massager just keeps running it over is head over and over. He can't try to escape, he can only giggle and babble out nonsense words, especially when the ends rub up against his ears which only makes it MORE ticklish, which he didn't think was possible. After the other demon shows mercy (and somehow isn't immediately slaughtered) Alastor develops a healthy fear of the massager, and grows incredibly anxious with anticipation and adorably flustered any time someone brings one out
Speaking of massagers brings me to my second headcanon. This man CANNOT get a massage or he will absolutely die. People who are tense can be more ticklish as a result, and since Alastor is already incredibly ticklish, having tense muscles makes this 100x worse. I have really tense shoulders, and any massage there immediately makes me hysterical, and I imagine Alastor would be the same. If he was comfortable enough to do so, he would be the kind of person to absolutely die if he were to get a full-body massage because it would tickle so damn much - even through the pain that comes with massages. Rosie likes to pretend to massage his shoulders and neck just so she can tell him to stop squirming and giggling so much because she's trying to help him
Another quick headcanon. I like to imagine that he's mostly covered in fur, and while it isn't terribly long in most places, it can still get tangled after a shower, or after being smothered by his clothes all day, so he has to brush it regularly. This is an absolute nightmare for him. Even when he's brushing his own fur, he has to stop every few seconds because he starts laughing too much in certain areas, like over his sides or belly for example. No matter how often he does it, he never gets used to the feeling, and it only gets worse if someone else (usually Rosie) does it for him. At least if he does it himself, he can stop once he starts laughing. It makes it take a long time, but it's less flustering. If Rosie (or Satan forbid someone else for whatever reason) brushes his fur, she usually tries to get a much done at once as she can, so she usually keeps going until he's begging for a break. Also, she thinks it's absolutely adorable, so she'll keep brushing areas that make him squeal long after all the tangles have been removed
Last one for now is that he can feel the static from people's phones. If he's close to someone when their phone rings, he can usually feel the static of it crawling teasingly over his skin. It usually isn't a big deal, but if someone is being bombarded by calls that they keep ignoring (let's say Valentino obsessively calling Angel Dust), the static quickly becomes overwhelming and he'll beg the person to answer their phone or turn it off, if straight up bashing it against the nearest wall isn't an option. It doesn't tickle a particular area, more of an all-encompassing tickle over his entire body. If he gets to the point of begging them to answer, it's usually because he can't hold his laughter and squirming anymore and is trying not to make a fool of himself. He feigns annoyance so people don't find out the real reason he wants the calls to stop. The secret comes out when Angel absolutely refused to answer Valentino one day, but didn't want to turn off his phone because he was in the middle of doing something on it, and Alastor finally broke and curled up where he sat, giggling hysterically and begging Angel to turn his phone off
That's all I have for now, I hope you enjoyed these headcanons. If you decide you like them enough to incorporate them into anything you write/draw, tag me!!! I'd move to see it. Also, as mentioned earlier, feel free to add onto this as you wish, I'd love to see how you all make these headcanons your own
This???? 100% yes. (and definitely not because these are some of the stims I have shut up I'm not projecting-) and of course, as I am wont to do, I'm going to add to this
Accidentally reveals his knowledge of the internet by saying "Open na noor!!" every time a door is locked with someone on the other side
if there's NOT someone on the other side, he will dramatically pull on the door while screaming "Let me in! Let me IIINNNNN!", further exposing himself for being online
Will randomly say "You dumb whore" in the thickest possible country accent when dealing with inanimate objects
Clicks his teeth together loudly whenever it's been a little too quiet for a little too long
Automatic deadpan "Ow," every time he drops an object
A long pause followed by "I'm setting myself on FIRE," at the slightest inconvenience
Letting out really high pitched "hhhhhh" whenever he's stressed, but only if he's not in a situation where he needs to control his reactions
Randomly grumbling radio static from behind closed lips
Letting out quick little huffs of air whenever someone goes to ask him a question, to the point that he almost sounds irritated, but it's honestly just a habit
May or may not have been exposed to an episode or two of Smiling Friends, and constantly quotes Allen, but particularly "Thank god, finally. What the fuck?" in a surprisingly accurate imitation. No one knows why he quotes it because he'll do it completely at random
However, he will say "I'm tired of running errands for this happily married couple," (again, surprisingly good impression) whenever Charlie or Vaggie asks him to do something for them, but only when he's around Husk or Angel for some reason
In the middle of the night he'll just SCREAM the whole scene from Shrek about the muffin man, but a lot of the time no one will actually hear anything until they randomly hear him SCREECH "tHe MuFfIn MaN!!!!!!" at 2 in the morning. He has not seen Shrek. He honestly doesn't even know what it is, he just heard it a couple times from the kids in Cannibal Town and now has it irreversibly stuck in his brain
Automatically mocks Angel whenever he starts whining about something out of pure instinct
"Thanks, I hate it." All the time.
"Mother, I Hunger," in a frighteningly deep voice while he is cooking
He has somehow come across the Miette meme, and will constantly quote it, replacing "mother" with the name of whoever has slighted him. He'll have huge eyes, high pitched Victorian-child esque voice, pinned back ears, The Works
Thank you for listening to my TedTalk, Autistic Alastor has my whole heart
Vocal stims i think that Alastor probably has:
-Making trumpet sounds and parading around the kitchen
-Making god-awful elk sounds whenever a storm blows the lights out
-Fake sobbing without contorting his face whenever the room gets a little too quiet
-Unironically singing 2011 songs outside of the bathroom door where Lucifer is in and gradually getting louder the longer he's in there
-Screaming. Just screaming.
-Barking or meowing at the worst possible times
-Saying "AUR NAUR" a bit too loud in public.
She/her, 20, aroace and tentatively bi, and in waaaaay too many fandoms. I read, write, and attempt art. Requests are OPEN!!!
117 posts