WATER

Rebloging for the next time I need cheesy pick up lines

Hit on my muse

Are you an interior  decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful.

Did  you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.

Do  you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

If  I were a stop light, I’d turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could  stare at you a bit longer.

If you were a  vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber.

There  are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently,  none of them have ever been in your arms.

Are  you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.

Are  you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me  feel like I should take you out.

I  was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I’m  going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

I’m  not staring at your boobs. I’m staring at your heart.

Can  I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?

Your  body is 65% water and I’m thirsty.

My  doctor says I’m lacking Vitamin U.

Can  I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.

If  I were a cat I’d spend all 9 lives with you.

Smoking  is hazardous to your health… and baby, you’re killing me!

You  must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.

Do  you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the  world!

You  know I’d like to invite you over, but I’m afraid you’re so hot that you’ll  skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.

If  I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer  to this question?

Are  you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.

I  bet you $20 you’re gonna turn me down.

I  like Legos, you like Legos, why don’t we build a relationship?

Would  you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?

There’s  only one thing I want to change about you, and that’s your last name.

Did  you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

Can  I borrow your cell phone? I need to call animal control, because I just saw a  fox!

I’m  no organ donor but I’d be happy to give you my heart.

Kiss  me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?

Do  you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

You  see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I’M  cute.

Can  I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.

Are  you my phone charger? Because without you, I’d die.

Are  you a cat? Cause you are purrrfect

You  know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my  case.

My  lips are like skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?

I  have an “owie” on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?

Hey baby, I must be a  light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!

Do  I know you? Cause you look just like my next girlfriend/boyfriend.

Have  you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

Was  your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?

Apart  from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Is  it hot in here or is it just you?

I  blame you for global warming… your hotness is too much for the planet to  handle!

You’re  single. I’m single. Coincidence? I think not.

Stop,  drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.

Baby,  you’re so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.

I  hope there’s a fire truck nearby, cause you’re smokin’!

I  just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.

If  you were a burger at McDonalds, you’d be McGorgeous.

Your  hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.

You’re  so hot, I could bake cookies on you.

Is  your car battery dead? Because I’d like to jump you.

I’m  lost. Can you tell me which road leads to your heart?

It’s  a good thing I wore gloves today. Otherwise you’d be too hot to handle.

Story time y'all. I was just about to go to bed when the LOUD AS HELL FIRE ALARM in my apartment complex starts going off. Flashing lights and BEH BEH BEH. I outside all upset, thinking my night's ruined because it takes FOREVER for them to get it off and it's FREEZING out. Then I open Tumblr and this post is the first one I read, conveniently after I just read a fix involving a wild boar, and it just really made me smile. Thanks, people of Tumblr, for making a shitty experience less shitty

Needless to say, I am HORRIFIED.

Art by Apofiss

I snorted at this

when none of ur internet friends are online

timezoned again

(Source)

I sent this to my professor because we just did an essay about the meaning of time and such, this was her response

Thanks, [my name],

It is poignant! An evocative image that Dōgen would surely appreciate, too.

I hope you have a balanced weekend.

Warmly,

Dr. [Professor]

Just thought you should know.

yo wanna see a post I woke up at 3am to write for reasons unknown?

This literally made my day. When the drum banged and they fell down, oh man, I'm crying

if you’re having a bad day, here’s a cute little marching band