I HAVE NO REGRET, HAKU WAS ALWAYS IN MY HEART @ohagi-bites @xxlady-lunaxx @sanemiss

YAPIII

HE SO TINY OMG

MY LITTLE HUSBAND 🫧🌊🫧

Okay, now imagine Sanemi singing "enjoy the silence"

Also do a slowed down version

I started playing Baldur's Gate 3 a couple months before I ran away from my mother's house.

Looking back on my first playthrough now, I understand why my favorite characters resonated with me so much...

Astarion, who wanted freedom and choice, who wanted to escape the supervision of someone he had to call a Master and whose orders he had to follow.

Karlah, who also wanted freedom and the ability to simply live, without fear, without orders, without having to fight for her life every day, wanting simple closeness, simple... Touch and acceptance, recognition.

Recognition that they were both not monsters and deserved to live.

I didn't know then how close they really were to me.

These two.

Genya Shinazugawa was born in January, when the frosts were already raging outside the walls of their modest home. But he never felt the cold of winter.

How could he, if from the moment he was born, his brother's hands warmed him? He was with his dear older brother more often than with his mother, who went to any part-time job to have money for food and some minimum of things, but little Genya, whose hair was the color of a raven's wing, like a bird, who flew past their house on the day of his birth, smiled so brightly at Sanemi that the elder one thought that there was no cold outside.

How could it be cold when the real sun was sitting on his hands? An eclipse, but full of warmth.

They were similar, but at the same time they were opposites.

And Genya was often so upset about this in childhood, because, of course, he wanted to be like his beloved older brother!

They had the same eyes, similar build, even if Genya hadn't caught up with his brother in height yet, but he was always upset about the color of his hair.

"Aniki, why isn't my hair white like yours? You were born almost in winter too, why is my hair black?" little Genya whined quietly as he and Sanemi sat alone at home one night, waiting for their mother, happy to be out of their father's sight.

Sanemi smiled softly at the question and gently wiped away his little brother's tears, hugging him tighter and gently rocking in place as he pondered the question.

"Because when I was born, winter had just descended on the earth, and our house was the first one it came to, and kissed my hair, so it's white, not like yours or your mom and dad's. And when you were born, there was an eclipse in the sky. The moon covered the sun, and so you were kissed by the shadow of the moon, making your hair like this. I remember seeing your hair white for a few moments," Sanemi says with a mysterious smile, while his heart warms at the sight of Genya listening to him with sincere trust and surprise.

Even if it's just a little fiction to entertain his little brother and calm him down by explaining their differences.

Even if it's not true.

"I... Kissed by the Eclipse?"

"Yes, Genya."

I try to draw more and better, but these rough lines are so awkward, ahaha

Sanemi doesn't see color.

He lost the colors of this world when he first had to take up arms, and he never saw this world again.

Everything seemed as if it was an eternal cold winter. Everything was gray, faded, and dead, no matter where he looked.

He looked at the sky, but he no longer saw its azure purity.

He caught cherry blossom petals in his palms and looked at them for a long time, tracing the outline and delicacy of the veins of the flower with his pads, but he did not see what the cherry blossoms were like this year.

He sat on a tree branch, looking at the setting sun over the mountains and forest cover, but all he saw in the sky was a scribble of gray shades.

He often thought that he would gradually forget the colors.

If only, if only... if only they did not dream of him.

Rarely, fleetingly, but he clung to that moment every time in his dreams, keeping it in his memory...

He had never seen what color Tomioka's eyes were.

Of course, he hadn't seen any of the colors of the other Pillars. Not their hair, not their clothes, not their eyes. He knew that Gyomei was blind. He knew that Obanai had two different eye colors, and that the right one was almost blind. He knew that Kyoujuro's eyes always shone. He knew that Muichiro's eyes often stopped at something without thinking, empty.

So why did Giyuu's dark, dull even eyes catch his attention?

"Tomioka..." the question hangs in the air as Shinazugawa stares at the Water Pillar, narrowing his eyes slightly, making a soft tsking sound as the Water Pillar tilts his head to the side in a silent question.

"What... color are your eyes?..."

I can't help but think about how the Hashira elements affect them and reflect them.

For example, what if Sanemi was called Breeze? Despite his defensive aggression, I feel like he's like the Wind, playful and active, and can provide a slight calm, like a cool breeze after a hot day.

Okay, okay, maybe I'm crazy, but I can't let go of this thought.

Giyu, if his injury hadn't overwhelmed him so much, would clearly be very accommodating and understanding, someone who would keep his comrades from doing anything too reckless. He's generally soft and gentle, like a light rain during a sunny period.

Maybe I should write more of these headcanons!

My therapist once told me to do an exercise where I drew my emotions and feelings of choice in circles. So, I drew the feeling of love and safety as a body wrapped in the embrace of many snakes. Strangely, it still feels safe and loving to me, and I might try this exercise again, many years later.

The first time I saw Gyomei (it was art, I haven't gotten to his part in the anime yet) I was like "Yo Guts, log out"

oh my god