IT JUST HAPPENS

— MARRIED FOR 24 HOURS, COMMITED FOR LIFE ! Crackfic / Gender neutral reader / Shitty writing / Multi-characters / Fluff

“Remember the time we got married for 24 hours..?”, they hummed in response, waiting for you to continue; “A part of me thinks.. that you didn’t think it was JUST 24 hours..” you paused for a moment, and then continued “You still wear the promise ring I got you, on your ring finger.. “ you let out a small chuckle, “I don’t know how to phrase this easily, but temporarily.. until the REAL THING happens.. I’m gonna need you to sign the divorce papers.” 

“Marriage is sacred.. Surely you don’t plan on breaking the sacred vows the two of us made and shared underneath those bright lights”, he continues on, phrases and misleading the crowd of onlookers until you give up.  — Riddle Rosehearts, Jamil Viper

He closens into you, a light chuckle leaving him as he does so; he leans in and grabs the paper from your hands. He tears and shreds the poor thing to pieces and lets out a chuckle. “Try and get rid of my dear, I anticipate how creative you can be..”  — Azul Ashengrotto, Jade Leech

"Have you ever been blackmailed love 🙂" — Trey Clover, Floyd Leech, Rook Hunt, Lilia Vanrouge

“HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF THE CHILDREN” “YOUR LEAVING US? AFTER ALL WE’VE BEEN THROUGH” — Ruggie Bucchi, Cater Diamond, Idia Shroud (replace children with Ortho), Sebek Zigvolt

Grim hands him the divorce paper and he casually rips it apart; Grim hands him another one, “Don— Don't rip it—” tearing noises. “God damn it!”; Grim hands them four new copies of the divorce paper, and he rips them again. “Darling you're making this way more difficult than it should be” you said, trying to convince them to stop. “No, you’re making this difficult” 

Grim hands him another five packets of divorce papers, “We can do this all day” he said, but he ripped them apart again.. “You’re not going to go through with this are you..” you ask him; “No, but it’s funny seeing you try to divorce me”. Grim smashes another 15 packets onto the table, “DEUCE I’M GOING TO NEED 600 MORE COPIES OF DIVORCE PAPERS”  — Vil Schoenheit, Ace Trappola, Malleus Draconia, Leona Kingscholar

*Holding back tears* — Deuce Spade

Silence, dead silence, avoids your gaze and questions. — Silver, Jack Howl, Kalim Al-Asim, Epel Felmier

© cupids-chamber, do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or adapt my work without prior permission and or confirmation.

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Sometimes the name doesn't matter

synopsis: sometimes it matters that you are his wife. PART 2

pairings: Capitano, Kaveh, Tighnari, Zhongli x fem!reader (separately)

tw: fluff, established relationship, hurt/comfort; hybrids, unwelcomed courting, kind of female objectification (all in Tighnari's part)

word count: 6.9k+ words

a/n: part 1 can be read here!

Capitano

Fast elegant fingers of a pianist run across the keys of black and white and the violins in the hands of other musicians are there to serve together with the chorus of beautiful voices, selected by Lady Columbina personally. The music infiltrates the souls of the nobles present, filling them with the sense of grandeur and glory, touching even their harsh unfeeling hearts.

The atmosphere of the gathering is gratifying, would’ve even been endearing if not for the stately figures of the Harbingers standing on both sides of the throne, where the Tsaritsa would've been seated had she not decided to refrain from attending it altogether. She has more important matters to take care of, and nine of her most loyal servants can definitely fill in her place on that yearly event.

Sure, this year it is more important since the two Harbingers are missing and the seats stay vacant - it's been the talk of the nation. Who is going to be nominated? Can it be influenced? Will they claim the names today?

Is the mysterious Commander, whose arrival became the topic of multiple speculations, be the one? A fierce warrior many heard of, but almost none saw face to face. The man was believed to be as powerful as the 11th Harbinger or maybe even the 10th! Having an army and an establishment of his own on the farthest line of the Snezhnayan border, he still is under the command of Lord Capitano, which makes it even harder to fish any more information than what is already known to the public.

"I only heard about him. He and his troops are protecting our borders from the monster's invasion in the North."

"Ew, who would've wanted to live in the North! It's much harsher than all the Snezhnaya."

"Shush, the Commander is wealthy and respectful, you can bear some cold."

"What do you imply?"

"The Commander is unmarried, there is no way he isn't, not with a life like this. But it can always be changed, and the woman he takes as wife would be one of the luckiest ones!"

"You are right… Maybe he is actually handsome. Maybe he'd be even willing to buy a whole mansion for his promised one and not take her with him to that awful place. Maybe…"

Maybe, maybe, maybe. It travels through the crowds like a storm in its wake, eventually reaching the Harbingers, who, for the first time after appearing and greeting the already arrived, stop resembling the statues. Eyes shift among the people and each other; some gazes hold interest, some - annoyance. Only Pantalone has an ever present smile on his face, fingers clasped in front of him and sapphire rings sparkle in the ballroom light.

"Looks like Capitano's estimated soldier caught everyone's attention. My, my, how curious and nosy the people can be…"

"I understand the curiosity though," admits Childe, arms crossed to prevent laying even a finger on his blade, that is resting on his hip. "This person sounds like an interesting specimen… I've heard of his talents in both strategy and tactics, and it seems like his strength is a legend. I'd love to spar with him."

"Oh you, thinking only about fights, young man," Pulcinella disapprovingly shakes his head and raises his cane to point in the gingerhead's direction. "I highly doubt our guest will have time to spare, considering the period of time concerning the stay that was mentioned in the letter we received."

"And I believe the majority of that time would be spent with Il Capitano, isn't it right?" Columbina's soft voice must be drowning in the music, but everyone hears her loud and clear.

"..." The Harbinger stays silent and nothing can be read from his body language since he is the only one remaining still in his place, his huge looming figure resembling one of the full-set armor nobles like putting in their halls as a part of interior. Except this one isn't empty.

"So much potential to become my test subject, to be perfected... Yet lost to the lands of Northern regions," Dottore huffs in disappointment, his sharp teeth peaking when he clicks his tongue. "Say, Pierro, can't things be rearranged? I'd happily have our dear border protector as my underling."

The silence between the nine suddenly becomes thick. There is something indescribably tense in the air and only Childe can't understand why some of his colleagues seem to be more interested in how the Captain would react and not the 1st of the Harbingers..

"You know why this can't be rearranged, Dottore," the stare of an icy blue eye would pin everyone to the ground, destroying their will and order to obey, though doing little to scare the Doctor. "And it was favored by the Tsaritsa herself."

The finality of the short statement makes the scientist back down from the proposition he's been bringing up every time the topic touches the Commander, yet ending up the same way as always - with an ultimate rejection.

Three heavy thuds make everyone in the room fall silent. Many heads turn to look at the ceremonial staff hitting the floor the last time and staying still in the hand of a tall, thoroughly dressed man.

"The protector of the Northern border, the glorified and esteemed warrior of Her Majesty Tsaritsa, The Commander has arrived," the master's of ceremonies voice carries like a thunderclap, cutting off the quite leisurely music the orchestra was playing for the dances and entertainment.

The rustle of note sheets is fleeting and not a moment later the musicians straighten in their seats, taking a deep breath. Trumpets boom in a spacious room and make nobles shiver in surprise, some especially susceptible women even lean on their partners for support. The choir and the violins join the triumphant song the brass instruments sing, signaling that the time has come.

Everyone holds their breath as the tall heavy doors leading to the ballroom are being pulled open. Everyone has their gaze glued to a slowly growing gap. Everyone keeps their eyes wide open, afraid that even one blink can cost them missing the legendary sight.

Everyone gasps.

The tall figure enters, posture straight and shoulders squared, confidence evident in every step. Black satin clothes are adorned with golden chains and intricate patterns. The white military coat stayed resting on the shoulders - showing off the position, the closeness to the Harbingers. And then there is the face - a scar crossing the left brow, calm bored eyes, not sparing anyone a glance, which do not fit the other female features of your face.

Yes, the Commander happens to be a woman.

Stopping by the steps leading to the throne, you bow - not kneel, bow, - holding your open palm by the heart and respectfully closing your eyes. Music stops.

“Greetings, my lords. Let Tsaritsa bless you and your mission.”

“Let Tsaritsa bless you and your service to her,” Pierro says, raising his hand. “Lift your head,” which you do, looking him right in the eyes, yet still holding your hand by the chest. “There is time for duties and there is time for entertainment. And tonight, given your rare visits to the capital, I suggest you enjoy the latter.”

“Much obliged, Lord Pierro.”

And with a wave of the older man’s hand, the orchestra starts a new composition, waking up the ones who were in a daze, reminding others they are here for drama.

And the first one to take action is the 11th Harbinger.

“Commander, Sir- I mean, Lady?” The gingerhead is the closest to you out of all his colleagues, having only to descend a few steps to be on your level. “I’ve heard a lot about you, many admirable things. How do you look at sparring?”

“Right in the middle of a ballroom? Quite positively, young man,” your lips twist in a half-smirk, baring a sharp pearly canine. “But I believe the nobles have already had enough shock to take and rumors to create. Maybe another time. Haven’t seen you before though. Are you new?”

“Tartaglia, the Eleventh Harbinger, Lady Commander.”

“Ma’am would be enough,” you click your tongue, glancing behind and noticing how slowly, but surely some of the aristocrats are inching towards you, clearly interested in conversation, Well, you are not. “On second thought, starting a duel right now and here doesn’t sound like a bad idea…”

“I’ve always known you are quite insane,” Arlechino butts her way in the conversation, giving you only a small nod as a greeting. You simply glance at her.

“For years I’ve been hearing of my insanity, think of something new,”

“How about, ‘the one who knows no limits’?” Pantalone’s smile is as dazzling as it’s fake and sometimes your hands are itching to strangle the man. Maybe even go all the way out and bite his head off. Literally.

“The only ones who know no limits are the wind and the stupidity. I’m neither. Who I am though,” your gaze travels higher, to the steps closest to the Tsaritsa’s throne, to there Pierro and the first three Harbingers are standing, “is a wife. And I’d like to have a dance with my husband.”

Not many heard your words, but the ones who did, gasp loudly, staring at you with wide eyes. Which get even wider when Il Capitano, a seemingly motionless statue before, turns in his place and, without a pause, steadily descends to you. Now, as you are standing so closely it becomes evident how obviously your outfits match. The chains, the patterns, even the precious stones - everything. Perhaps it is terrifyingly cute. Perhaps it's cutely terrifying.

“Husband,” your smile again, offering him your hand, which he immediately envelopes in his big clawed one.

“Wife,” is the first word the big figure rumbles for the evening, the void of its helmet staring at you. And that’s all you speak to each other, hearing the beginning of another melody and turning to join the dancing pairs.

“...What was that?” Childe voices what’s been plaguing the minds of the attendees. “First the Commander appears to be a woman, and now she is married to the Lord Il Capitano?” He glances at Pulcinella, who joins his side and decides to watch the pair that caused a commotion have their fun. “Do they not use their names?”

“They find no sense in them,” the Rooster answers just the last question. “And,” he lowers his voice and the ginger has to bend down to hear the next words, “I didn’t tell you that, but the Captain really loves calling her his wife. So be quite cautious while seeking a fight with her. You might end up impaled. By either of them.”

Kaveh

With a soft smile you watch a group of children merrily leaving their classroom, interrupting each other in attempts to tell everyone how exciting the lesson was. They do not forget to grin and wave at you, passing by, and you return the sentiment, contently observing their happy faces and sparkly eyes.

Every time this happens, a strange sense of fulfillment overtakes you - supporting and sponsoring Kaveh was one of the best decisions you’ve ever made. The greatest architect of nowadays is offering his guidance to the young generation, teaching them everything about beauty and practicality, helping them to develop their own creative vision, and at the same time boosting the confidence of kids of all ages. And you couldn’t be prouder of him.

Him, who meticulously prepares for every single lesson. Him, who is oh-so-gentle with his words and precise in his speech. Him, who teaches both Sumeru citizens and people coming from abroad. Him, who is as passionate about it, as he is about his designing job, telling you every single detail of how the lessons went on your way home or over the dinner. Him, who is happy and who makes you happy too with that fact alone.

When the last kid leaves, marking the ending of the final class for today, you glance at the clock. Now Mister Meticulousness will need half an hour to tidy up the classroom and put all the tools away. Tomorrow is free from classes at his (he always corrects your as in the both of you) school, so you can collect your stuff as well - after all, being the manager of this establishment and Kaveh specifically requires your presence. You can be strict and unyielding whenever he can’t and this partnership proves to be successful every day.

Just as you are writing down some financial staff, there is a soft knock on the doorframe. Immediately lifting your eyes you hum, observing a very good-looking woman and a boy, shyly holding onto her hand.

“Hello, how can I help you?” With a quill laid on top of your accounting book, you stand and round the table, offering the two to step closer.

“Ah, hello, miss…” eyes with long, pretty lashes flit to the name tag attached to your clothes, “...Y/n. This is master Kaveh’s artistic school, am I correct?”

“Yes, you are. Are you here to sign your boy up for a class?” You offer her son a sweet smile and he answers you with a small lift of his lips.

“Mhm. You see, he is a big fan of master Kaveh and his works - can study the pictures of his designs taken by Kamera day and night.”

At that, the boy lowers his gaze and blushes a little, digging a hole in the ground with the tip of his shoe.

“Oh, really?” A gasp that escapes your chest is one of excitement. “That’s marvelous! I am sure your hopefully soon-to-be-teacher will be very interested in hearing your opinion of his works, young connoisseur,” he giggles, lifting his eyes at you again, and there you see undisguised delight. “Oh, but my bad, I didn’t ask your names…”

The woman’s lips bare two rows of perfectly white teeth as she smiles at you, introducing herself and her son.

“We are from Fontaine actually. But my parents wanted to spend some indefinite period of time in Sumeru for their health and we decided to join them. So while we are here, I thought I’d make my son’s dream come true.”

“That’s so nice of you,” you can’t help but admire her a little for that. “I can tell you first a little about our school, you’ll ask all the questions you need to, and then I’ll show you around. Kaveh should be done with cleaning by then, so there’s a big chance you’ll even talk to him personally.”

“Really!?” That’s the first time throughout your entire interaction when the boy opens his mouth and actually makes a sound. “Master Kaveh is here right now?”

“He is. But can’t promise a long conversation - there are still blueprints waiting for him back at home.

“Ah, right… He is the great architect after all,” the woman hums, staring to the side as if in thought. “Between the commissions he takes and this school he must be making good money. Not to mention so handsome…”

Oh… What a familiar tone, what a familiar look in those eyes. Suddenly that ounce of respect you felt for her disappears.

“Money is irrelevant to him as long as he reaches his goal,” is your restrained response. 

“Ah, of course! Handsome, sweet, kind, good with kids and is not a snob. Sweety, you ought to charm him for me!” She pinches her son’s cheek. “Imagine Master Kaveh as your daddy!”

Oh Archons, again?

There is absolutely no doubt that the light of Kshahrewar is not only well-known and popular among kids, but is thirsted after by women. In a half of a year your school has been existing, there were numerous times when moms of little students made comments alike or some single females trying to schedule private sessions with the architect. What a sagacious decision it was to make group studying only, it saves you some drama, once the legal document is shown. Though there are exceptionally persistent examples…

But this time you pity the kid a little, because he genuinely seems to admire Kaveh. And his next words make you internally cheer for the little guy.

“Master Kaveh as my dad? But mom, I have a dad already,” the boy pouts, rubbing at the pinched cheek. You notice a red mark and two little crescent moons that her nails left on a tender skin. “I love him and don’t need another one.”

“Sweety, you just don’t understand how great it would be to have such a dad! Just trust my word-”

“Ahem, Madame, I kindly ask you to deal with your family affairs once you are out of here. As for the school - I am open for discussion.”

The displeased way she glances at you doesn’t go unnoticed, but you do not show it anyhow, calmly staring back at her, while your hand reaches up to your chest. As if finally remembering her initial reason for coming here with her son, the woman sighs and puts a palm on the boy’s shoulder.

“Of course, miss- I’m sorry I forgot your name…” And her eyes flit to the name tag again.

Momentarily the woman squints from the light reflecting on the metal, and when she blinks the bright spots away, there is a beautiful golden ring on your hand. The hand that is holding the flipped tiny plate with just two words engraved in it.

"Kaveh's wife"

With widened eyes she stares back at your sweetly polite smile. Not saying a word as if letting the notion sink in, you walk to the wall. Grabbing the backs of two chairs you drag them to your table so they could sit, and take your rightful place in front of them. 

“If you are here for something aside from or instead of signing your son up for classes, I believe my name should be irrelevant to you. My status though,” you knock a nail twice on the badge, “must. So… what are you here for, Madame?”

The boy climbs onto his chair right away, while his mother tarries a little, still shocked by the revealed fact and your suddenly changed demeanor. She needs a couple more seconds to compose herself, but eventually she too sits down.

Despite what happened earlier, your conversation proves to be fruitful and fifteen minutes later you are showing around the school, sharing some additional information and answering every single of the kid’s questions. 

When in the last room you find your husband, closing Mehrak and looking ready to leave, the boy lets out a gasp. The sound attracts the man’s attention, and he turns to the three of you with a soft smile.

“Oh, hello there, little guy!” The blond waves at him, breaking the blissful stupor of a child that immediately turns red and hides behind his mother. Surprised, Kaveh looks at you for explanation but, instead, takes notice of your name’s replacement. Oh wow, this again. What was the last time you did that? Two weeks ago?

“Ah, Master Kaveh!” The woman charmingly smiles, batting her lashes at him, which would’ve made you cringe had it never happened before. “You see, my son-”

“Pardon me, Madame, give me a moment,” the male softly interrupts her and reaches for a similar metal plate on his chest with his own name to flip it. It’s almost comical how sour the temptress’s face got in a second.

And there is what for. Now two words are proudly matching yours, engraved in an equally beautiful cursive to remind the world who the two of you become once stripped of your names.

Just his ”Y/n’s husband” to your “Kaveh’s wife”.

And like that one more kid takes part in your lovely school and one suitor less is after one of its founders.

Tighnari

With each passing day of your team’s research in the desert you found it harder and harder to control yourself. Some days you were even on the verge of clawing and biting, tail and ears twitching in annoyance and pupils turning into wild slits, making your hybrid nature more obvious.

Was it because of the research? No, it couldn’t be farther - your colleagues have been making so much progress, heeding your advice and following your lead. Was it the location perhaps? A little, but you learnt how to deal with heat and dryness. Was the process taking too much time? On the contrary, you are on your way home already, having finished the job 4 days earlier than you estimated in the beginning.

Then what on earth could possibly trigger you like this?

Well…

“Hey, forest foxy, want me to catch the Consecrated Flying Serpent for you?”

Ah yes, him.

Never again will you trust the higher ups at the Akademiya to sponsor your team with the bodyguards. Out of every possible candidate, your Herbad-titled colleague concluded that hiring five descendants of Valuka Shuna would be a marvelous idea. 

“They are the desert kind - they’ll be good guides.” “Look how much stronger they are, they’ll definitely protect all of you.” “They are of the same kind as you, Y/n. Don’t you think it’ll be easier for you, as the leader, to have someone akin with you?”

No, it absolutely would not!

Desert fennec hybrids are different from the forest ones - and it’s not even the case of your green and their sandy brown fur or their more brutal physique against your more delicate one. It’s their character and world perception. You’ll never call them barbarians, but they really developed more of the animal nature than your kind did.

And from day one it was a pain in the butt. 

One of your five new bodyguards was clearly the leader - he was bigger and broodier, with more scars littering his body, and his whole stance was screaming of a higher position. When you were introduced for the first time, something lit up in his grayish eyes, which were looking you over appreciatively. You ignored that, more focused on the discussion of the upcoming expedition and making sure the five were aware of what was required of them.

Luckily they were, and, admittedly, they did fulfill their task meticulously, proving to be great help. If only one of them wasn’t so diligent.

You lost count of how many times the leader tried to get into your personal space and you had to move away. Of the numerous invitations to hunt together. Of the endless displays of his strength and abilities. Of the many conversations you didn’t even try to eavesdrop on (they talked pretty loudly) around the topic of when will your shell be cracked and you’d accept the male’s courting attempts.

The answer was obvious, but he just never got it. Even when you called him for a serious conversation on the turning-into-an-issue matter.

“With all respect I must ask you to stop with whatever you’ve been doing to woo me. I have a husband.”

You still remember how he blinked at you dumbly, clear lack of understanding written on the sun-kissed face.

“...and?”

“The heck do you mean ‘and’?”

“Well, you don’t have a mate?”

It was your turn to stare at him speechless, ear twitching and tail curling closer to your legs. It was getting worse than just ridiculous.

“If we are speaking in such terms, then my husband is my mate. So, please-”

You nearly gasped when the male immediately leant closely, violating your personal space and practically stuffing his nose against your neck. Shocked by such lack of shame, you lost the ability to talk or move for a moment, gaping at him sniffing around and humming upon the discovery.

“You don’t wear anyone’s smell on you.”

You were not proud of yourself at that moment, but you absolutely lost it. Sharpened claws dug into his chest and with an angry snarl you pushed him back.

“Get away from me!”

You must’ve been a sight - canines bared and fingers twitching, ready to attack; fur standing on both your ears and tail, signaling your distress and eyes slitted in pure rage while directed at the man in front of you. The worst part? The idiot seemed to like it even more.

“What me and my partner do must be of no concern to you. I told you ‘no’ and I mean it.”

But bold of you was to assume he’d stop. Oh no, it’s gotten worse. Now he was actively calling you a ‘forest foxy’, absolutely abandoning your name and even trying to scent you. It was suffocating - the desert aridity was lighter in comparison to the male hybrid’s pheromones. 

Never in all your academic practice have you wanted to return home so badly.

Fortunately, your colleagues quickly caught on to what was going on and always helped you to escape the unwanted interactions. Plus they were equally as mad as you were, because his individual scent irritated their human noses - and that was the main reason why you and Tighnari, both spending a lot of time around other people, did not practice it. Partly, you are sure, this whole situation was the reason for your earlier return - and you were grateful for their understanding.

However, your stubborn suitor did not dream of giving up. Killed desert animals were still offered to you, stories of his legendary battles with monsters were told for the hundredth time (even though no one was interested in listening at that point) and attempts to lure you with the musky smell once again made. Archons, and the green-furred fennec girls from your teens used to dream of that.

Maybe Lesser Lord Kusanali would be merciful and you’ll meet your husband somewhere on your way?

“Herbad Y/n!”

…wow, that was quick. Not Tighnari, but incredibly welcome too.

“Collei!” For the first time in days there is a reason for your soft smile. Which the young girl mirrors, waving at you from not so far away. You notice a couple more of the Forest Rangers at her side, and that sight alone makes you finally exhale in relief. You are so close to being home.

“Master is here too! Want me to get him?”

Oh, Dendro Archon, thank you.

“I’d really appreciate it, dear!” With a quick nod the green-haired apprentice disappears in the bushes, and you turn back to the scholars of your group. It’s time to abuse your power a little. “We are almost at the Devadaha Pool. Since all of you live in Sumeru City I hope you’ll excuse me for staying behind. As for you five,” your gaze moves to the bodyguards and it’s so hard not to rejoice - soon they’ll be just a memory, “I ask you to accompany the rest of my team to the Akademiya. Then you can consider your job done and be free. Keep the payment for the last three days that didn’t happen - think of it as a bonus for a good job.”

All but one eagerly nod and bid you farewell with wishes of getting home safely. And frankly speaking? You couldn’t care less for that one when you spot familiar and oh so dear big pointy ears with an intricate golden earring adorning one of them.

“Tighnari!” You didn’t want to sound so desperate, you really didn’t. But when those forest-like lovely eyes look in your direction, it becomes clear to you - the yearning has gotten unbearable.

“Y/n…” His smile is dazzling and the way his body immediately pushes to walk to you almost makes the memories of the last weeks’ events go away.

The key word - almost.

Someone grabs your elbow when you want to meet him halfway. Oh right, you already forgot about him.

“Let me go, you, imbecile!” And again you have to snarl and be rude, ripping your arm out of the strong hold and quickly darting into your husband’s embrace. The natural smell of the leaves, the flowers, the sweet and bitter concoctions he makes in his home laboratory, comfort you and your whole body goes nearly limp in his hold. It’s been weeks and you are tired of fighting with the brick wall - this time you want your lover to handle it for you.

“Y/n, my lotus, are you alright?” Gentle fingers comb through your hair and scratch at the base of your ears - a whole ass adult, that you are, wants to tear up. But you can only shake your head a no. “Has this man been bothering you?” This time it’s a yes. “I got you, dear.”

“So,” the browny green eyes sharpen upon staring at the cause of your current state, when it starts speaking, “you are that ‘husband’ the foxy has been talking about? I thought you’d be stronger. Or at least taller. Now I see that I was right and you really can’t be her mate.”

“Oh but I am. Not that we have to prove anything to a stranger. Y/n,” he carefully pries your face from his shoulder, caressing your cheek with a beanie pad, “let’s go home. You must be so-so tired.”

“I am, ‘nari. I am exhaus-”

“There’s no smell of you on her and vice versa,” the desert descendent of the Valuka Shuna seems to not be planning to stop. “Her neck is not marked. You let her wander by herself for weeks? And you keep calling her by the name. Her name should've stopped mattering once she became your mate!”

The hand around your waist tenses and you can feel the claws threatening to tear through the gloves he always wears. You don’t need to look at the face of your lover to know how pissed he is. And if Tighnari decides to attack him and tear his tongue out? You will not stop him.

“I am going to say it once and only once. She is not just a mate, she is my wife, by the Sumeru law and by the blessing of the Dendro Archon. And this fact must matter to you more than the case of her name. So fuck off and leave my wife alone. And if you don’t get it in a civil way - this woman is taken. And this territory is mine.”

With that, the Forest Watcher effortlessly lifts you in his arms and, holding you as if a precious bride, turns around to leave. You haven’t looked back once.

“You can’t imagine how much I missed being called your wife,” you quietly confess, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Especially after he didn’t listen when I said that I am.”

Tighnari hums sympathetically, leaning close to rub his nose against yours.

“Will it be okay then if today I address you as my wife only? When we join the other rangers, I mean.” 

”...if you think I will be embarrassed - make it a whole week.”

With a soft chuckle your husband plants a kiss on your lips, sealing the deal and promising you tranquil days at last.

“As you wish, wife.”

Zhongli

"...and so Rex Lapis takes the form of a dragon, a majestic creature he was born as - the one of whom the fair maiden would never be scared of. Lady Guizhong's robes flutter in the tender wind traveling among the mountain peaks and caressing the earthly scales of the God's enormous body. His eyes, shiny as gold, gaze at her with an unfamiliar softness as she holds a gentle flower - a delicate gift from her lover, the one that proves that under all that armor is a stone heart capable of love. Heart that is beating for her."

To loud applause the Iron Tongue Tian bows his head, drawing the legend of the gods in love to its end. You cannot bring yourself to clap even politely, both hands on your lap, hidden under the table, twitching when a man beside you lets his gloved palms meet each other a couple of times.

It’s the second time you had to sit and endure the baloney from the very beginning to the very end, not to count all those times you overheard it in passing. From the moment you settled in the Liyue Harbor together with your husband, to live the rest of your incredibly long lives together among the humans, you've been painfully aware of their interpretation of Rex Lapis and his relationship with other immortal beings. Before that you rarely accompanied him during the walks, busy with helping Yakshas and other adepti protect the said humans to grant them a peaceful life - as immortal guardians grew fewer, every single one counted.

Never have you ever imagined that knowing so little of the citizens’ folklore would backfire so hard. It seems that people got somewhat bored listening to the stories of Liyue and Rex Lapis, no matter how many interpretations existed. Literature became more diverse in genres and romantic novels were on top of the list, so street narrators started losing their audience little by little. Before it could grow into something more drastic the new side of history was presented to the public - stories about love among immortals appeared and its freshness and uniqueness caught people’s attention immediately.

In their searches for new material, speakers dug through hundreds of volumes. The main interest was the Lord of Geo, of course. If you have a story of a presumably stone-hearted creature ever having fallen in love with someone - that’s pure gold! But who could you present as a love interest of the Archon? It must be someone very close to him and, obviously, no one is more well-known for that than the deceased Archon of Dust.

You sigh, reaching for your cup and declining Madam Ping’s offer to pour you some more tea - for an unclear reason the fellow adeptus joined you two tonight. You have thousands of years of life behind your existence, a soul hardened by constant battles, and mannerism as polished as a jade statue, yet for a moment you feel concerned that the woman would notice a pang of hurt in the smallest of your features.

Zhongli definitely noticed the first time. It was meant to be a date night - simple, but sweet, with the evening lights, delightful aroma of the finest tea and the tales pouring from skilled tongues reflecting the atmosphere of what your nation really is. However, the luck of the land of trades wasn’t on your side, as someone requested the “Guili legend” as they called it. At first you were confused. Then in disbelief, almost turning to look at your mate, with whom you were bonded long before he became allies with the ash-haired woman. In the end you felt something you thought was beyond you - bitterness.

When you left the restaurant, slowly walking back to your house, Zhongli’s fingers gently touched your elbow, asking for your attention.

“Does it bother you that much, my love?”

Bother you? Well… It does feel insulting when someone speaks of your husband having been in love with someone else, but mortals can’t possibly know the truth for many reasons.

“I can’t say it doesn’t,” you admitted calmly, stopping and turning fully to him. He did the same, gazing at you with a hint of worry in those golden eyes you loved so much. The ones, you knew, always looked only at you. “But it can’t be helped, right? There was a reason and mutual agreement why you, as Rex Lapis, made our union unknown to your people, and now, since you are “dead”? There is no one to tell our story. Don’t worry though,” you put a hand on top of his and smiled, when his other one was laid on top of yours in a gesture of comfort. “I can deal with it. I know you love going to the storyteller’s performances. I’ll just try to ignore what they say about you and Lady Guizhong.”

Sometimes Zhongli thinks he does not deserve you. Ever so patient and understanding, you always had your husband's best interest at heart. Marriage, however, in its basis is a form of a contract, and a good contract is all about both sides being equal in everything. And if you must know one thing about Rex Lapis - he never makes bad contracts.

When the audience calms down, the man decides to make his presence and intentions clear by raising a hand. From the corner of his eye he notices you slightly turning your head to glance at him, and he catches a glimpse of puzzlement in your gaze. He can't help but think how adorable you are, even if you deny it again and again, claiming that nothing can be adorable about a several millennia-old warrior. Maybe not, but his wife definitely is, and he thinks with a primordial pride igniting in his chest, that mating with you was the best decision his past self had ever made.

Reaching under the table he rests his free hand on top of yours, gently squeezing it in reassurance, offering you the warmth of himself, seeping through his glove. Just as your shoulders relax to his delight, the raised hand adorned with rings is finally noticed.

"Ah, Mr Zhongli! Such an honor to see a regular, especially someone as wise as yourself!" Iron Tongue Tian beams with a wide smile, closing his fan and focusing his full attention on the history connoisseur. "I doubt you have questions, given your vast knowledge, and I can't wait to hear what else you can add to this already heart-felt story."

You force your lips not to twitch, hiding behind the tea cup again. Suddenly it tastes bitter. But another squeeze your husband gives your hand doesn't let you dwell on it too much.

"You are correct, I do have some knowledge to offer. However, it might disappoint you, as it will completely destroy the story of the Geo Archon and the Archon of Dust."

The whispers ran through the crowd like a powerful wave, and you can see confusion written over every single face. But also, there is intrigue.

"I took it upon myself,” Zhongli however continues, “to invite Madame Ping to back up my story, as she was the witness to it," the elder woman - a well-known Adeptus that doesn't hide her existence among mortals - nods with a soft smile.

"I read this in legends a long time ago, but remembered only when the 'Guili legend' became popular. Rex Lapis indeed had a lover, however it was not Lady Guizhong," the gasps are almost deafening. Just as your quickened heartbeat.

And for the next hour the man by your side and the elderly-looking woman that joined you tonight proceed to tell the story of the adeptus, who was the first and only to ever bring the Geo Archon to his knees, to be worshiped like a goddess by his eyes, by his words, by his very heart. Of a warrior, whose fierce eyes and valiant nature made a dragon in Rex Lapis roar in delight. Of the woman, who entranced him with her beauty, caring soul and motherly attention directed to other adepti - Madame Ping adds with a laugh of how the two created a parent-like dynamic even before they became official (at that you find it so hard not to turn bashful).

They tell the legend of the silk flowers - the ones you might see everywhere in the vast lands of Liyue. How the Geo Archon personally asked the Dendro Archon for guidance to cultivate the tenderest of flowers, how he taught his people to make the delicate fabric out of it, but even then it couldn’t compare to the skin of his immortal mate.

They tell stories of how annoyed she was when the god turned into a dragon to fall asleep somewhere in the depths of the earth for years without telling her prior, and how he returned with the purest stones and metals and with his own hands forged the pair of matrimonial rings (yes, the ones wrapped around your fingers to this day).

Madame Ping fondly speaks of all those thousands of years of protection the said adeptus spent to make sure that her godly spouse’s people were safe and maybe just a tiny sliver of pride rushes through your heart at the public acknowledgement.

“But she wished not to be known,” the woman sighs and you know she glances at you reproachfully. Well-deserved, given the circumstances you are in right now. “Thus it’s not much of a surprise people made a mistake like that. Besides, you won’t find much information in written sources about her either way.”

 “But she must have a name at least!” Someone from the fairly grown crowd exclaims.

“That she does,” Zhongli nods, lacing his fingers with yours under the table, lips tugging in a calm smile, when you squeeze his hand in return. “Though I am afraid it would be pointless to try and find out now - we wouldn’t want to disturb her mourning the departure of her husband, would we? After all, they must’ve loved each other so much.”

“But how can you be so sure?”

“Because,” golden eyes are on you, catching yours, pulling you in, whispering for your soul and heart to get lost in them, “I can understand how this love was born and got to bloom. My wife showed me that.”

---

Light/Dark Academia and "Old Money" Name Ideas

By Writerthreads on Instagram

Masculine:

Alexander

Felix

Roma

Hugo

Lawrence

Pak Hei (柏熙)

Andrew

Victor

Leonard

Huxley

Jun Wei (俊偉）

Fitzgerald

Charles

Masaharu (雅治)

Andrew

Khalid

Hao Ran

Edward

Cameron

Jun Xi (俊熙)

Harrison

Darius

James

Ahmed

Henry

Theodore

Sulaiman

Chadwick

William

Feminine:

Alice

Elizabeth

Victoria

Josephine

Akari (丹梨)

Magaret

Florence

Sophia

Ai Lin (愛玲）

Kennedy

Eleanor

Henriette

Adesina

Anya

Eloise

Lorraine

Wing Yan (詠欣)

Eliza

Ingrid

Hermione

Rashida

Catherine

Ichika (一千花)

Esmeralda

Eugenie

Seraphina

Maureen

Daphne

Penelope

Adeline

Surnames:

Reyes: Kings

Stentham: At the river banks

Yamamoto: (one who lives at) the base of the mountain(s)/ (one from) Yamamoto District

Hargreave: someone who is the first to think of or make something

Renaud: advice, rule

Kumar: prince, son, boy, or chaste

Alarie: All-powerful

Burton: fortified enclosure

Fujimura: wisteria village

Alviar

Brentwood: A town in Essex, England/burnt wood

Toussaint: All saints

Ho Tung（何東）

Charmant: attractive

Hunton-Blather

Kapoor

Dupont: of the bridge

Anworth

Alma: nourishing

Blackburn: black brook

Ashton: from the ash tree (town)

Khatri: member of the warrior class

Harvey: iron, blazing

Laurent: the bright one, shining one

Leighton: leek town (lol)

Minamoto: source, origin

Allard: brave, noble

Seymour: From St. Maur

Note: The Chinese names included aren't really "old money" because we don't really associate names with money or position. The younger generation of Asian people usually have English names as well Chinese ones (instead of a romanised Chinese name). All Chinese surnames can also be "old money" because lots of people have the same surname.

Side-note: quite a lot of "old-money" kids have joint surnames from both parents, so you could try doing that for your characters

I used Google for a lot of names from cultures I'm not familiar with so I could be very wrong! Please correct me if I’m wrong!!!

QOTD: What’s your main character’s name and why did you choose that name?

AOTD: Mine is Fletcher Cheung, I chose Fletcher because it felt very powerful, and not a lot of girls (especially Chinese girls) have that name so it was memorable.

Trans Dipper HC: Their parents are transphobic but Dipper was introducing himself as a boy from the start and Stan never even thought to question it, so when their parents called asking about their "daughters" he was like "SHIT DID I ALREADY LOSE ONE"

---

Hiiii! I saw your post about Genshin boys with Kanao!reader. IT!IS!BEAUTIFUL!!!✨AMAZING✨ soooo may I please request HC with Shinobu!reader(personality,story,skills) for Childe and Zhongli, if it’s possible? Yandere or not, it doesn’t really matter ahah I just like the way you write 🥺🥺🥺💔

Yandere Childe and Zhongli with a Shinobu!Reader

tw; yandere content. mentions of death. mentions of killing. spoilers for Shinobu's story.

genre; headcanons/scenarios

characters; Tartaglia(Childe), Zhongli

scenario; Everyday life in Liyue with two men obsessed pining for you.

an; you like the way I write? omg, thank you! I actually had the same idea a few days ago, but I threw it out the window not literally. I also didn't include the story of Shinobu because it doesn't fit quite well in the game. reader here is gender-neutral, no pronouns mentioned. reader originally came from Inazuma, ran away from their home. the reader got a vision of when their sister was murdered. I may have got carried away - THIS TOOK LONGER THAN I THOUGHT.

Personality;

For all we know, Shinobu was once a hot-headed woman before her sister, Kanae died in a mission, at the hands of a demon. Kanae told her younger sister to quit the corps and live a normal life, but she swore vengeance for her older sister. Shinobu took the personality of her being giddy, always smiling, being gentle, from her deceased sister, Kanae. She's also rather sadistic and would give her enemies a quick death, sometimes, she would also torture her enemies.

She also hides her anger through the facade of her sister.

History;

Shinobu was born as the youngest daughter within the Kocho household, living alongside her mother, father, and older sister Kanae Kocho. She was raised in a loving and caring household until her parents were slaughtered by Demons right before her and her sister's eyes.

Just when the Demon was about to take the lives of her and her sister as well, they were saved by the Hashira, Gyomei Himejima, who slew the Demon. Now more determined as a result of the pain and suffering they endured, Shinobu and Kanae both promised to become Demon Slayers to protect each other, as well as prevent other people from enduring the same losses they had to experience. Eventually, after managing to move a boulder, they convinced Himejima to introduce them to a cultivator.

Later in her life, while accompanying her sister Kanae on a trip, the sisters encountered a young girl being led away as a slave on a bridge. Intrigued by her, Kanae took an interest and decided to take the girl back to the Butterfly Estate, against Shinobu's initial wishes. They eventually purchased the girl, named Kanao Tsuyuri, from her master and trained her within the Butterfly Estate to become the next Tsuguko.

Skill(s);

Shinobu is rather skilled with the way of the sword, her style would consist of thrusting attacks since she has a lack strength in arms due to her small stature. Since she can't behead demons, she uses wisteria poison as her weapon against demons. The "stinger" is designed for the injection of Wisteria poisons into Demons. Shinobu has become extremely proficient in the use of her combat style due to it being suited to her needs and abilities, which played a major role in her strength as a Hashira.

That being said, she's also rather skilled in medical expertise. Despite not being as combat talented as the rest of her fellow hashira, she displays immense skill and mastery over pharmaceutical fields to make up for her lack of natural-born combat abilities, being highly knowledgable about how to create various poisons and venoms using Wisteria flowers.

She is capable of killing opponents within seconds and even manages to create a poison strong enough to drastically weaken Doma, the second strongest Demon of the Twelve Kizuki.

Tartaglia/Childe

Douma and Shinobu 2.0

You literally hate this guy with your whole being. And you avoid this guy every time you meet.

Childe often visits you in Bubu Pharmacy which is where your job is since you fled from Inazuma.

When you first arrived in Liyue, the first thing in your mind to do was to find a stable job, a home to stay in and find a way to kill the Fatui who killed your sister.

You explored the city a little more until you saw the pharmacy, it brought a smile to your face. Who knew that the city of Liyue has a pharmacy?

So, the first thing you did is talk to the reception, and ask who the owner is. The person told you to wait, for a person named, "Baizhu". And so you did.

You waited until you saw a man in green hair, with a white snake on his shoulder rests. It reminded you of someone with the same snake.

He asked you if you know about medicinal practices, and you answered with a yes and proof of 5 years of practice and medicines in your bag.

He was astounded, from the look on his face, and hired you to work at the pharmacy. He showed you around, in his storage rooms, and introducing Qiqi to you. You surprisingly took of it well, despite having a zombie right before you.

He also asked you if you have somewhere to stay, it shocked you, someway, and you shook your head slightly. He somehow has a place for you to stay, and you accepted his offer.

From then on, you're a worker at the Bubu Pharmacy.

Back to the Fatui-

He always visits you. Every day, every night, at a certain time, when he's done after work.

When he's at work, you're in relief that he is away while you can still run errands and deliver medicine all throughout Liyue. While on the other hand, he misses you greatly and wants to be near you. He assigns some of his people to keep an eye on you, for his sake. None of them questions him why.

When he doesn't have any work, this boy will be in the pharmacy, there constantly to annoy you (at least that's what you think).

But the true meaning of his actions is that he's keeping an eye on you. Constantly thinking of how attractive you are of how great you are at doing your job.

It irks you a lot since you are starting to think that he's creepy when those ocean blue eyes stare at you 24/7. A lot of people get scared by him since he's there and scared of the aura you're emitting despite the gentle smile on your lips.

When someone talks at you and looks at you in the eyes, he'll glare at them until they leave, or when you look at him. He might kill them if he feels like it. And then tomorrow morning, news that a body has been found dead. You will feel some guilt over your shoulder. Didn’t you just met this man yesterday?

When you do errands/tasks in the city, he'll go with you, and maybe ask you to have lunch with him at the Wanmin Restaurant after you're done with it. In which sometimes you decline, and sometimes you accept. Though even you decline he won't take no for an answer, he'll drag you with him.

If you do errands out of the city and goes in the wild, he's ready to guard you and defend you. In which you insist on going alone, and finishing the task by yourself. He accepts defeat, but one time, you ran into a hillichurl camp and defeats them with ease, noticing an arrow behind a Mitachurl's back. Was someone following you? It made your skin shiver in fear. You immediately run to the location where the patient is and gives the treatment, give them a prescription given by Baizhu, takes the Mora pouch, and sprint back to Liyue, not noticing someone following you. The patient was utterly confused about how hastily you gave them the medicine, and take the Mora from them.

You're a little paranoid when you're alone, you hate it. You hate that it makes you scared, it makes you feel weak. You release the anger in clearing a camp at night, not caring about the blood on your blade after you've massacred the Hillichurls. Still have the feeling of someone watching you, you quickly went home, washed your clothes, changing to your bedtime attire, cleaned your sword clean, ate dinner, you head to bed not noticing the silhouette right before your window.

He'll ask how you got your Vision, and you say that you got it on the day your sister died. He immediately regrets it, and engulfs you in a warm hug, saying that he's sorry for asking and he shouldn't have. You felt a warmth that you haven't felt before, so you returned the hug.

When you returned the gesture of embracing him back, he's shocked, you returned his hug, he's LIVID on the inside, oh how happy he is to feel your embrace, how happy to smell your beautiful scent, while also knows your pain because he has siblings too. He'll be damned if anything happened to his brothers and sisters. He's also a little mad, seeing you cry breaks his heart, how could they do that to you and your sibling?

He then asks you who killed your sister, you're a bit skeptical about telling him who killed your sister since you know that this man is a Fatui Harbinger. If you then tell him, he's going to be extremely mad, and will, find out who it is, and murder them in cold blood. The next morning, he'll bring you a severed finger, telling you that this is the finger of the man who murdered your sister. You then proceed to burn the finger, he'll ask you why you incinerated it, you then tell him; "Every part of him deserves to burn in hell."

If you don't tell him, then that's fine, he knows that it's hard to speak when you're frustrated on describing who the murderer is, he'll be there to comfort you, and pamper you. He'll take care of you himself.

He also will constantly ask you out on a date with him in which you politely decline, and you reason that you're busy, and says that you should take a break once in a while. It's unhealthy to overexert yourself.

If you keep declining him, he'll snap and will kidnap you and keep you to himself, all his, his only darling. And you being sadistic, you'll throw insults here and there, while you keep your facade and resisting the urge to shout at him maybe threaten to kill him and gouge his eyes out, or poison him. But he sees those little threats as empty or not life-threatening. Even if it is. Maybe he'll keep you as his spouse if you behave well. He'll make you depend on him, even on getting stuff at the tallest cupboard, he'll do it for you. He would absolutely buy anything for you to make you stay with him and love him.

Trying to escape is not a good decision, if he caught you trying to destroy the lock or the door, he'll add more locks, and will probably hide the keys, somewhere you couldn't reach.

If you accepted on going out with him, he'll happily smile, and tell you he has reserved the whole Xinyue Kiosk at dusk. While you were in agape, of how rich is this guy is. He reserved the whole restaurant for his darling. He'll stare at you the whole time while you both wait for the food, feeling uneasy by his lovesick stare. When the food arrives, he'll be nervous, he doesn't know how to use chopsticks. You'll laugh at him for not mastering using the chopsticks, and will constantly tease him for using a spoon and fork, you teased said that; "Maybe you should use the training ones, you big baby~." His face was flustered, but it doesn't mean that he won't tease you back, only to make you blush. You both will try to make each other blush, seeing it as a competition to you both.

When both of you are done eating, he'll drag you to all the shops, buy you clothes, accessories, flowers, anything really. He's rich, why should he worry for Mora? You'll make his pockets hurt because you want to see the dread in his face. But instead of the fearful look of losing Mora, he has the face of an infatuated puppy, wagging its tail excitingly.

After the date, he'll ask if you had fun, and insisting on taking you home. You can't deny that this man isn't a handsome attractive one, and his pretty face sometimes annoys the hell out of you. If you caught feelings for him, you'll NEVER admit it that you caught feelings with a Fatui and will constantly deny it, but if you do admit it, you kiss him in the check or give him a quick lip on the lips, and you hastily say goodnight and run quickly inside your settlement, while he's standing there jaw on the floor, trying to process in his mind what just happened. Does that mean you love him?

This man will return to his place happily he will not sleep constantly remembering the feeling of your delightful lips making contact with his skin and will always remember it, maybe he'll boast it to his friend, Mr. Zhongli tomorrow morning, and visit you at the Bubu Pharmacy.

All of his plans are working, all he has to do is ask for you to be his, not that you're not his in the first place anyways.

You're going to be his, soon enough.

Zhongli

This man is a gentleman, no doubt.

It was just another day in Bubu Pharmacy, you there just stacking up types of powders, concoctions, herbs, medicines, etc.

Until you heard the sounds of footsteps approaching, you turn around gracefully to see a pair of amber eyes, staring at you. It took your breath away, from how just beautiful those eyes we're, and how they seem to slightly glow. Just who is this man?

Your train of thoughts got interrupted by a voice calling out to you.

The man seemed to need to get painkillers, according to the prescription signed by the owner of the Bubu Pharmacy.

When you asked for who it is for, he just said; "It is not for me, rather it is for an old friend."

How thoughtful for a man to help a friend. You thought. You don't expect a man who looks busy with his work to help a friend.

You then went to grab the right amount of painkillers and packaged it inside a small paper bag. You then handed out the paper bag with one hand smiling, thanking the man for making a purchase at the pharmacy, your eyes widened in surprise, and your lips suddenly stopped speaking when you felt his touch, it made your skin tingle. The man looks at you in concern, asking if you're alright, you slowly looked up and reasoned that you're feeling fine, just a little tired.

The man then recommends for you to rest easy at night, for you to stop overworking your body, you just shrugged it off to saying; "I know how to take care myself, Mister...?" You trailed off with a questioning tone, simply asking what his name is.

He introduced himself as Zhongli, a consultant in Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.

There's a funeral parlor in Liyue? You blinked twice in surprise, and the man chuckled at your shocked expression, at the new discovery.

He then gives you a pamphlet that Hu Tao would always ask her to give out to the people of Liyue, which they would sometimes refuse.

It started off just like that, sometimes you two would meet when you ran errands for Baizhu or when a person would need medical assistance in far more places.

It then turned to a daily meeting at the streets of Liyue, it's inevitable to meet the gentleman when he buys expensive things, or when he haves lunches with the Fatui Harbinger, or when he visits you in the pharmacy, reminding you to rest, and eat healthily, but delicious and filling meal, three times a day.

If you are free, and you're doing nothing, he'll invite you to drink tea and reminisce about things in life. He then asks you when did you get your vision, you say that you got your vision when your sister died. He'll say sorry for bringing the topic up, but you'll just shrug it off, but your grip on the cup says otherwise, you're not angry at him, you're angry at the murderer.

He doesn't need to know who murdered your sister, he's a god, a divine being, he knows who it is. On the next day, many people were gathered around a seemingly, pit where blood splattered, and a body, unrecognizable, crushed.

He'll court you like a normal person, he'll bring you your favorite flowers, and sometimes accessories, clothing. You'll ask what's the prices of these things, but he'll avoid the question smoothly by telling you the texture or what materials were used, to make it.

You'll just be more irked, but you're too annoyed to push the topic so you gladly accept the gifts, even though you think that you look greedy in his eyes.

He'll ask you out to lunch/dinner one time, he says that; "Food tastes good with company, don't you think so?" He's not wrong, after your sister's burial, your food seems to taste much more dull and boring, even though it tasted quite good.

If you accept, he'll be happy, of course. He's been waiting for you to come and dine with him at Xinyue Kiosk or at the Wanmin Restaurant since the first time he has laid his eyes on you.

This time Zhongli didn't forget his mora, the worker at the restaurant, was so shocked, they looked like they saw a ghost.

If you decline, that would only fuel his desire for you. Playing hard to get? He'll only get his resolve and desire stronger on making you his, and his only. The dragon keeps his treasure only to himself. Kidnapping you is his last resort, or tie you with him by a contract with you being unaware of it. But he’s a gentleman, he would never do something that’s not consented or unwillingly.

After lunch/dinner(if you accepted), he asks you if he could walk you home, you can handle yourself going home, but you somehow crave company, you complied. The walk on the way home was sluggish, yet it was relaxing, the lights of the lantern that's been hanging around Liyue, are definitely beautiful at dusk, it's a bit nostalgic, it's just how you and your sister walks through the streets of Inazuma once, after a delicious food you ate at Uyuu restaurant.

If he had won your heart and favor, you'll give him a peck on his cheeks or in his lips, then you quickly scurry off, embarrassed by what did you do, inside your home.

He'll stand there momentarily, the sides of his lips tugged upwards. He's getting into your heart, he's glad. Once he gets into your heart, he'll steal it, then take care of you, like a true treasure should. Maybe he'll mark you as his if you accept his feelings. Then he will continue to cherish you and keep you to himself, only.

No one can steal from the fearsome dragon.

---

POV: You receive a text from your girlfriend, asking you to come over (Transfem Furina implied):

Missing Flowers ( @semisolidmind Fanfic)

I wrote this because I was inspired by another bit of work. This one is sweet ans short and Mac centric. Inspired by this ask! Twice as Bad Au make brain go brrrr

Tw for some violence mentions and some allusions to intimate behaviour (it is not detailed at all - in fact you may miss it entirely - but it is alluded to thats why I mention this)

As the sweet scents of spring created on the wind, carrying blossoms and the soft buzzing bodies of bumblebees, Peaches felt a deep pang of loss. Outside in the spring air, walking along the edge of the mountains with the small attendants she was given, she looked out beyond the sparkling sea. Beyond the mountains and the sky and all that lay between. She imagined she was looking homeward. To her village.

She missed her village, missed her people who she knew as family and as friends. She missed the smell of the earth, the taste of the rain on her tongue and how the sun angled itself through her shuttered windows to cast the dust motes in startling detail as they passed through the beams. It had been over a decade now since her marriage of ‘demonic fashion’ to the rulers of Flower Fruit Mountain. The ache never would go away- it would linger like a hole in her smile, a tooth lost and never replaced.

However it wasn’t her village today that was making her homesick.

Peaches had a little patch of earth, maybe an acre large that she had dedicated to the propagation of flowers and fruits, vegetables and all manner of growing things. It had taken years of careful selection, of collecting seeds from far and wide, of dedicated research and late nights in the snow and the ice and the building of her greenhouse to gather the collection she had had.

Peaches had turned the soil, mixing it with her grass clippings, ash from the fire place, and the compost to enrich it. It had been years of careful and quiet work to build her collection of plants. The glass bits for her greenhouse had costed her years and years of hard work. She had been unable to have it as large as she wanted but it was enough. Within the wooden little wall sat her favorite flowers, the precious few she had bargained and hunted for, the seeds and clippings, were all here safe within the wooden walls.

All her work over the past few years gone in a flash of fire and a slash of violence. What had happened to her little home? Was the house standing? Rotting in its neglect of the years. Did someone take over her home if it was still standing?

The stairs would need replacing. The second one had been creaking before her kidnapping. The wood had been softening and she had her eyes on a tree just beyond her garden. She had planned to cut it free and carve a new replacement. What of her animals? She had had a small herd of goats, little bleating creatures of brown and white.

The goats had been her source of fresh milk, meat and weed control. Each had been given a name. Each had been loved.

Had they been able to get away?

Had they been burned in the fire?

Peaches knew that the flowers and fruits she had were gone. Those couldn’t have escaped the fire - or the human retribution that would follow from any survivors.

Would Wukong have left survivors ? The Sage had come home many a times from such violence. He had woken her with cold hands grasping and seeking her out. He buried them in her hair or twined them in her fingers. Wukong would pull her to him and away from her own makeshift nest within their bed. In those early days he had not learned that the smell of fire and blood would upset her.

Those nights his blood had been on fire from conquest and he wanted only to enjoy the comfort of one of his dearest prizes. Her. Wukong would touch and whisper love into her ears as he fell asleep, a peace only she could bring in the aftermath of those bloodbaths. Sometimes she would wake in the morning to find blood smeared along her cheeks and in her hair.

It had been one of the times Macaque had found her hyperventilating after such a morning covered in blood that wasn’t hers, confused to where it could be from, and the memories of the night when the drunk had invaded her home.

And her world had changed. She had been pulled to his arms, her own chest pressing to his. Instructed to follow his breathing, to listen to the air whoosh from his body. To hold. Then to fill again like the bellows of a blacksmiths forge. And then to deflate.

When her breathing did not sound like the frantic flapping of a broken birds wing, thats when Macaque had asked her what happened. What had triggered her memories. Peaches asked how he knew- and her second husband rubbed a thumb beneath her eyes and caught a tear.

“You were screaming. Telling me to stop burning the village.” The words sounded sad. Not remorseful. Never remorseful for the actions that led here here. That brought her to residency in the mountain. The sadness was instead about the scars left behind, the invisible wounds that their actions had created.

After that, Wukong never came to bed smelling of blood or fresh from a conquest.

Wukong would never leave survivors of the village. Not after what he thought was a slight to her, to his perception of what was his. An extension of his own self importance. No. That seemed wrong even as Peaches thought it. Maybe she was an extension of his grandeur. But she wasn’t just a prize to be turned and looked at. Somehow, in some way, he had fallen in love with her.

Love for Wukong- for Macaque- was not like human love. Just as two peach trees could produce different fruits. Peaches knew that love between people was more of a communication, a build up to a relationship. At least in the best situations. Demons however … it was more draconic in a sense. To claim and catch, to conquer before another could take the prize between its claws and keep for themselves. Like dogs fighting over scraps, love was something to catch and hoard and keep.

Maybe it wasn’t so different from humans. Stories and mythologies had been woven of love like this. Men had gone to war and killed thousands of others in the name of one paramour, one love.

Wukong had done that. He had taken a conceived obstacle and removed it. He had snatched her as a wolf would steal a lamb in the cold of winter, taking her back to the mountain. Devouring her freedom to secure his happiness. When his brother came to see, to wonder at why their paramour was here. It hadn’t taken much convincing. It was as natural as breathing to take in their world.

Peaches attendants, those young ladies, waited patiently. Peaches stared out across the world and wished she had the eyes of eagles to stare and devour the miles so she could see for herself.

Was her garden truly gone? Had anything wild had been left behind ?

Had the apple trees gone wild? Were green granny smiths now growing wild among the pink ladys and dorsett goldens? Were the nectarines falling from the trees to rot beautifully in a horrid flash of sweet sick decay? Did the bees still pollinate whatever roses and hydrangeas survived ?

Had the fire consumed everything?

She missed her garden. Her plants. She missed her home.

She had been so lost in thought that she didn’t notice how her Ladies in waiting called out- she didn’t notice the shadow length beneath her feet. Until suddenly the ground was not ground at all but a gaping black hole- and she fell screaming.

Right into a warm embrace and soft fur that smelled like orange blossoms and plum wine. Laughter bubbled out of Macaque bare chest. “I would think the Queen would be more aware of her surroundings by now.”

Peaches pulled away enough to hook her husband with a scowl. It was half hearted as the demonic monkey dipped downward and pressed his lips to the side of her face in soft peppered kisses. Peaches laughed at the affection, able to ease into the comfort that the six eared macaque had grown between them. The chestnut trees above them rattled like ladies whispering as casting the sunlight like dice over a game.

“Some brutes don’t walk - some slink in shadows.” Peaches teased back. She lifted a hand up and along Macaques face. Her fingers touched his ears- all six on display today instead of being glamoured and hidden. The large clawed hand tightened beneath her as she brushed her hands over them. Macaque leaned into her touch, pressing his face, and her hand, into hers.

“Slink?” The monkey teased. They were beneath a cluster of chestnut and beech trees. A whole new position upon the mountain - possibly leagues across the great kingdom.

“Slink?” Macaque nipped her ear and she yelped in surprise- cheeky like. “I do not slink.”

And then the stomach flip as the magic pulled them in. The very shadows that seemed to seep and flow through macaques black fur, the ebbing of ocean currents between the jetties of his being. The cold kissed her nose, the sun flashed. Peaches blinked as the orientation of the sky reasserted itself. They were closer to Water Curtain cave now. The mosses and lichens that grew in the soft moisture were tell tale signs.

“I merely use what I have to my advantage.”The Six Eared Macaque pulled his wife into himself as he began to walk. In her decade here she had begun to see the mountain like a second skin. Each turn of stone was becoming like a new crease in her skin. Here she understood that, even though the forest was near the palace, it was no where she had treaded recently.

Her husband was taking her somewhere. But where ?

“You left my ladies in distress.” Peaches asked. The steps against the forest floor were soothing. Would she allow herself to be soothed ? It was easier for Peaches to forget the scars that marred her when it was Macaque. With Wukong …

It would always be a sore spot. Always be cut that had healed too thin and the scar left behind would ache in the cold.

“I left them with a note that said I was taking my wife for a moment.”

How different the world would be if they had just asked her to come with them. Had the two brothers even floated the idea between each other? Thought to show her the beautiful mountain and let her fall into it and in love with it ? Peaches knew she would have come. The beauty here was unmatched - the fruits and flowers and plants and growing things would have stolen her away faster then a demons courting could ever achieve. If her boys had only asked her… only shown her….

“How are you Peaches ?” Macaques voice was soft.

“I am… far away.” She decided to be honest.

“The memories again?” Soft, gentle. Her sweet boy was still there. Still within this … sorrow. Peaches had found the little monkey bleeding among her hydrangeas and honeysuckle. The white and purple petals were turned crimson and crushed beneath the tiny body. Of course he had been a wild thing, a furious flash of teeth and claws. Any animal would be. So when the weak little monkey bit into her hand she hadn’t flinched. Instead she had waited, taking a blanket to scoop the poor creature up and into her arms- and to contain those claws. The bite was foolish- what she did was foolish- but… she was a foolish women.

The bite was deep, the pain a lance in her mind. Those teeth were large enough, sabers in gums - knives of nature that cut into the soft pad of her flesh. He didn’t let go, he didn’t release her hand until the blood on his flank was cleaned. Until the gash in his side had been sewed shut. He was too weak to worry her flesh into ruin. To take his pain and tear her apart. He could have. Though small, though at a disadvantage, the little was gifted with weapons where Peaches had been gifted none. She was soft handed, soft as a magnolia flower. No claws no teeth no strength.

Yet he did not tear her apart. The tiny monkey was left alone after he was patched up. A bowl of water, a small basket of peeled mandarins. And the window- left open to let in the wet jungle air. Her kindness had cost her her hand- the day after it was purple and swollen. It was hard to work in the soil- to work in the garden and her little farm. She had carrots to pull, goats to milk, and trees to prune. By the end of the day she could barely close the hand and it had grown yellow on top of the purple. Like a plum trampled enough to ruin the flesh but not enough to break it open.

The next morning however, when she unwrapped to tend the wound and let it breath… she found the wrappings clean. The swelling was gone. The punctures were still there. But…. They had healed over.

She had been a fool. Peaches had thought it was from her tending that the wound had healed up. She had been a fool. Who would have known that her foolish heart would lead to this future?

“Its not just the memories- its a memory.” They had stopped walking now.

“Which one?” The leaves rustled above them. The air smelled of water and earth and stone. It was … calming. So the memory coming forward now wasn’t cast in sorrow. But in calm.

“Of you.” She reached up and pressed a finger to the very tip of his nose. “Of the garden. When we first met.”

Macaque grimaced.

“Not my best introduction...” He looked down at her hand. The scar was still there, silver moons along her skin.

“Are you embarrassed?”Peaches teased. Macaque paused. He set her down onto her feet, kneeling. His hands caught her wrist- the one he had scared all those years ago- and brought it to his face.

“Truly I am. I mauled your hand.”He kissed it, rubbed a claw over the scars, worried at it with his lips and his tender forehead brushes.

“You were in pain. And you healed it.” Peaches pulled him up. Off his knees. In these moments, these tender touches, was the sweetness that had grown between them. There was the flash of that little monkey she had saved. Who had slowly begun to bring her gifts and treasures. His first gift had never been showed. Macaque had never been talked about- as it had required secrecy.

“Lao Tzi had chased me out.” The simian smiled into her face, teeth flashing like moonlight. “Heaven was in an uproar over my thievery. But … they thought I was Wukong.”

“Mac!” She beat on his shoulder in play. Roaring laughter was rewarded to her as the trickier of the two loomed over and draped his arms over her front, pressing her back to his chest.

“I couldn’t let them know it was me!” His teeth were in her hair, soft croons and gentle nips being pressed to her skin. “I was in a bit of a hurry.”

Her cheeky six eared husband then began to press her and tease her in a very flirtatious fashion that turned Peaches skin flushed and burning. It was long moments and minutes after the teasing and the stolen presses of kisses and promises for later, that Peaches decided to open her heart a bit more to him.

“I miss it all. I miss the house and the village and …. I miss the garden the most. All my plants. My animals…” Peaches rested her face in his arm, drinking in the plum wine and orange blossom smell that was so thickly wrapped in his fur.

“All the growing things… do you think they are still there ?” It was easy to think of it here, when Macaque had been kind and soft to her. When he understood what emotional wounds were still healing, still painfully sore. The rush of his heart was against her ear was nice.

“Have they gone wild and returned to the woods ? What of the roses- they are the hardest here to tend. And the magnolia trees….” A bird flitted and flew its way between the emerald leaves. A dolphin flying through a sea of emerald green.

Macaque spun her suddenly, his hand gripping hers, his tail flicking. She was pulled along, hands grasping his as they walked faster.

“Lets walk. We will go and see the orchards and you will tell me all the flowers you had and loved and never got to tend.”

“I would tell you anyway.” Peaches laughed softly. “I loved my flowers.”

The look of serious thought didn’t alleviate in the wake of her laughter.

“You will tell me in detail and what seasons they grow- and what habitats they grow in. Who the traders were that gave you the seeds and the clippings.” They rounded the corner of a stone outcropping, the path before them becoming more well trodden. The path to the orchards.

“And I want you to find a piece of the mountain- get that foolish orange orangutang of my brother to help you clear it and drain it and turn its soil rich.”

The realization was dawning on Peaches then.

“Ma-Macaque…” Was he suggesting what her heart was starting to hope?

“You get the land ready.” His fingers squeezed hers. “I will collect the seeds in my journeys. I will find the best lines and horticulturists and gather you a collection that will rival the one we foolishly took from you.”

His eyes held hers. It had the same effect that a sunrise had on a snow trapped forest. The light in them was refracted and doubled as Peaches felt her heart fill. She didn’t realize that tears were dripping until Macaque was reaching up to coo and rub them free, calling to her in comforting familial tones a monkey would use to soothe an create comfort.

“And I will be able to play within your garden and see you smile like you just did. I would bring down the lunar gardens to see you smile again… as you did when i first saw you in that garden. ”

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the suffering never ends

Genshin leaning so hard into Papa Neuvillette makes shipping him with anyone extremely funny, because it means his partner is immediately gonna be Mama to several hundred step-children.

We've already seen Wriothesley get stickered, but you know Sigewinne's gonna dial it up if he hooks up with Neuvillette. Just totally wallpapering his office.

Or Navia comes home to Poisson to find her boat just completely covered in stickers. She opens up her umbrella and finds them lining the inside. Every Spina member's sunglasses are adorned with them.

Or Furina summons the Salon Solitaire and all three of them are inexplicably covered in waterproof stickers. She wakes up to find some on her top hat. They're on her boxes of macaroni.

Do you see my vision, shippers?

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