Batfam Quotes As Things My Family Has Said

Here’s Sunstreaker from chapter 4 of my fic “Aftermath” on ao3. I wrote this scene specifically so I could draw it >:)

Chapter 4 was just posted if you’d like to check it out :)

Hamato fam is multilingual (canon) and they raised casey multilingual don't fight me on this you will lose

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Jason: Pass me the blueberry jelly

Damian: *picks up jar and scoops the rest of the jelly out onto his eggs*

Damian: sorry, it's all gone

...

Jason: you little...

FLUFFY EARS!!!!!!!

SHOCKWAVE!!!!!

Why didn't this make it to the final cut?!!

Praxians praxianing. Or something haha.

Smokescreen living his best coldest life. Blueastreak and Percy doing snow sniper duels :D

Wait I just thought if Blue is here maybe it would be fun to add Sunny and Sides as well……hm

Ok, but like...

There's "danger zones" in Wayne Manor.

These are areas where watching for falling objects, dangerous projectiles, murderous vigilante baby, and a plethora of other hazards.

For example, the main foyer is a danger zones.

Dick, with his acrobatic tendencies, has broken over 23 chandeliers. Thankfully, he's never been hurt. He just hangs on the chandeliers and tends to loosen them. Then tend to fall later, when unexpecting people are walking underneath. Jason has dubbed it the "phantom chamber" in lieu of the falling chandelier in phantom of the opera.

Damian’s room is also a danger zone. For obvious reasons.

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Okay, so this one is long. Legit this happened yesterday.

*whole family is going out for dinner*

Tim: *locks the door before leaving the manor* okay, everyone ready to go? I'm starving.

Bruce: Alfred, did you get the house key?

Alfred: ... no master Bruce. You grabbed the car keys, I assumed you grabbed the house keys.

Bruce: oh... well... oops?

Jason: You, Bruce Wayne, Batman, "world's greatest detective", have locked yourself out of your own manor.

Bruce: ...

Jason: *wheeze*

Damian: Drake, look what you did. Not only did you lock us out of the manor, but you have humiliated father!

Tim: wtf, how is this MY fault!?

Damian: tt useless.

Tim:... you little-

Dick: whoa! Let's all calm down! We're all a little hangry and not thinking straight.

Steph: yo, I didn't get my phone. It's in the kitchen.

...

Bruce: *sigh* let me get a sledgehammer.

Alfred: master Bruce, there must be a less destructive way to enter the manor.

Bruce: Alfred, I've spent millions of dollars on our security system. This is the least destructive method.

*leaves to get the sledgehammer*

*a couple minutes later.*

Bruce: how... how did you?

*Cass standing next to the open door*

Cass: credit card!

Jason: million dollar security system my ass.

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Dick: *walks outside without a coat in the middle of winter* oshabooshabrrrrr

Tim: did you just... what the hell was that?

Dick: it's cold...

Tim: and your first reaction is "oshabooshabrrr"?

Okay, but like...

Jason Todd coaching a little league team called the Outlaws.

And trying to keep it from literally everyone he knows.

Because he adores these kids, but he knows he'd catch hell if anyone found out.

Tim finds out first.

Of course he does this is Timothy Drake we're talking about.

Jason expects Tim to use this as blackmail. He's surprised when Tim doesn't. Even more surprised when Tim starts showing up for all their games, and becomes the most enthusiastic fan.

Cass follows Tim to a game one day. Gets as invested in these Baseball playing babies as Tim is.

Everything is all fine and dandy for a while... until Damian discovers the team.

Of course being the little demon he is, he forms a plan to destroy the team. "The team is a distraction to Todd and must be eliminated". So the little shit joins the team without Jason’s knowledge. His plan was was to start rumors and divide the team until it fell apart.

Buuuuut, turns out Damian Wayne likes baseball.

So now we have nearly half the wayne family invested in this team of 13 year old baseball players.

No one really knows how Barbara found out. She just started join Tim and Cass for the games.

Steph and Duke start showing up not long after. Showing up with enough snacks to feed a small nation.

The Wayne family turns out to be very enthusiastic... so much so that it makes headlines...

Annnnnnd that's how Dick Grayson joined the group.

And they thought the others were obnoxious...

This grown ass man shows up with a 6 by 2 foot banner that says "GO OUTLAWS" in giant glittery letters. He bring face paint and T-shirts for all the parents. Really he just gets way too into it.

Jason and Damian are mortified...

When Bruce sees the headlines, he thinks it's adorable. Of course he joins in all the shenanigans, just a little less chaotic.

Alfred just sits back and watches. He knew the whole time. He was the one to suggest Jason coach the team in the first place

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Damian: *walks into Tim's room. Turns off all the lights and knocks his water bottle off his dresser. Then walks out*

Dick: Awww... he likes you!

Tim: I hate this fucking family.